holiday uuuh. i have been wanting to write this essay for almost one month, but i did not have a free time. Not that i did not have at all, but i should have concentrated to write this text clear. so. i'm on holiday now. i got this one to try to pass my exams. but i think i won't pass these cause i have got many "tails" (what does that mean is described below). interesting, but it doesn't matter to me 'cause the only one thing i'm always thinking about is meaning of life. it has me. really. it has me at all. if i remember right it had come when friend's mother died of cancer. them it seemed like nothing happened, but about a month later i suddenly found myself in really great depression. it was gained much as i got fracture on my foot. after that i got one more fracture on my left hand (MMA is MMA). now i'm not able to training and waste my youth. the only thing i see is death. for example: when my foot was broken i was spending my time at home of my sister. sometimes i went out to horizontal bar. once, i saw small pretty kitty. winter was trying to get control and weather was cold. so, my sister and her husband got kitty to home. we all were happy. and kitty was happy too. but one day later i thought: "this pretty kitty gonna die about int 15 years." and the same i think when i look at people: cute gilrs? wait! about 15-20 years later she will lose her attractiveness and about 20 years later she will die. my mother? wait! ur mother gonna die about in 20-30 years. sister?.. friends? all people i know - die. there's no meaning of life. * "tail" (хвост) it's russian idioms. if u look at this picture on link bellow i just see number "two". it's able to call lower part of this number "tail". in russian grading number two is failing grade. so, if we have got many failing grade we say "i've got many tails" (у меня много хвостов) i hope i did myself clear. https://www.google.ru/search?q=%D0%B4%D0%B2%D0%BE%D0%B9%D0%BA%D0%B0&newwindow=1&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=FCO2UsP4KMPo4gTc54HYBw&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAQ&biw=1422&bih=993&dpr=0.9#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=LYHqFwqWTPWA9M%3A%3BW9F4V4uedWjccM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.pravda-nn.ru%252Fupl%252Fnews%252Fsrc%252F5608.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.pravda-nn.ru%252Factual%252Fnews%253A5608%252F%3B400%3B300