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My loneliness
I work in a mountain commune where everything is silent and boring, ofcourse it's far from city and modern life.
Before coming here, I thought that I will like this place because I was fed up with lifestyle in big city that is always crowded, noisy and polluted.
Yes, I prefer the air here, it's fresher. When I live here, I also don't have to fear the flood, don't mind the hateful noise of cars,...
But as an exchange, I have to familiarize myself with the humdrum life here. There is no brilliant building, no bustling downtown, ... even there isn't anywhere to go in the evening to hang out with friends.
When I lived in the big city, I just have a few close friends. We used to hang about on many tiny streets to try the foods and drinks at small shops on the pavement. We lingered around some beautiful lakes under colorful street lights at night. It was the wonderful time I spent with them. However, there were the days that I felt lonely in the middle of the bustling city. I used to think that the crowded city swallow me up so that I felt stuffy when I stay among lots of people there. I just wanted to flee far away.
Now, standing here far from the big city, I can breath better than before, but the loneliness doesn't leave me. I even don't have any close friend here, finding someone who can understand me that is really difficult. Every relationships around me are just the rules of propriety.
I realize that people are always lonely in any environment. We are alone since the day we were born on this world. We will step on our own feet. No one can understand us more than ourselves.
May be that's true, maybe not.
But honestly, I hate loneliness. It graws me day by day so that I feel tired.
I have to do something, something......
10 de julho de 2016
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Are you still young?
Are you still young?
Sometimes I wonder if I still young. Young or not, is it good or not good?
If we still young, we can do everything we want, go to everywhere we like, and don't care about anything around us.
If we still young, we will spend all our money for travelling, for shoping or hanging out with friends.
If we still young, we want to learn all things that we like: playing an instrument, dancing, kungfu, ....
If we still young, we never mind if we quit the job with high salary but the boss suddenly make you angry...yeah, we will leave it right tomorrow and feel that cool ...
If we still young, we will love someone at the first sight and don't worry anything...
...Let start to think about it... whether I still young... Maybe not too young...but I love my youth and never regret about what I did for my life. I just want to do much when I still can do it. Because I just have one life and one youth.
5 de julho de 2016
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