Free TOEFL Practice Test Today I have tried this: http://www.testden.com/challenge/free-toefl.asp

a joke for people learning English. But you have to feel all the meanings! :) A woman wanted a divorce. She came to the courthouse and appeared before the judge. The judge reviewed her petition and asked, "Do you have grounds?" The woman looked at him quizzically and said, "Grounds? Well, yes, Your Honor, we do have about an acre and a half." "No," said the judge, "What I mean is, do you have a grudge?" The bewildered woman replied, "No, we just have a carport." The judge was getting frustrated. "You're not getting the point," he said. "Does your husband beat you up?" The woman replied, "Oh, no I'm up at 6:30 and he doesn't get up untill 7:00." The judge was exasperated.He looked at the woman and asked: "Look, lady, why are you here? What reason do you have for wanting a divorce?" The woman replied, "Because my husband and I have a communication problem."

"Go on", "go ahead" - are they completely interchangeable?

What is the difference between "I'm going to sleep" and "I gonna take some sleep"?

Your Humble Servant 3 The man in the tent was asleep. The skin of his wide feet looked like an elephant’s and was deeply furrowed with the wrinkles that were sanded-up. Those were the sand and the salt of the Caspian deserts. The man did not move even when the donkey fell sideways and touched his big toe with its hoof. His big toe kept on pointing to somebody at the inflaming sun. That was a skinbound tired man that fell asleep immediately after putting a stake into the earth and throwing a black large felt mat over it. He did not even find time for hobbling his donkey and looking for any better place for passing the night. In the pit near the hill there was a dead dog in its third night. Jackals had already eaten all its entrails. Probably, the donkey was braying all night long just because of these cowardly stinking creatures that were hounting it. - It’s an old man and he’s come from afar, - Hally the Beauty told to her husband. – Maybe, you should invite him to our home to drink some tea? Hally was not so young yet – she was 22. But her shoulders were sweetly rounded and her voice was sweet and clear. Even the youngest girl of the village could not sing better than Hally. Nevertheless, the past night having been cold and inasmuch as Yegen Oraz-bay had lost the art of heating his woman’s heart at night a long ago, all these words were said with the hoarse voice since Hally didn’t have time to clear her throat. Oraz thought her to tease him. He wheezed himself due to his age and his fat that had squeezed his breast. - Since when, - he crossly wheezed, - you’ve got right to order me whom I should invite in MY kibitka? – Then he was getting angry and kept on voicing his indignation. - Yesterday you spended too long time near the well! What were you doing over there?! In our village there are too many idlers that would like to drink up from the other’s well! I know how you talk to ‘other women’ as well! Look out! You would become hoarse forever! Hally fell silent while Oraz-bay started to get up, stretching himself and yawning.

What are the lexical differences between AmE and BrE? I found it in an article. The left column is AmE, the right one is BrE. But I guess there are some mistakes in it. Administration - Government Apartment - Flat Assignment - Homework Basement - Cellar Blue - Sad Corn - Maize Closet - Wardrobe Fix - Repair Grade - Mark Intersection - Cross-roads Line - Queue Located - Situated Magician - Conjurer Package - Parcel Pavement - Road Quiz - Test, exam Reserve - Book Schedule - Timetable Shop - Store Shorts - Briefs Shot (medical) - jab Streetcar - Tram Tag - Label Taxes - Rates Term paper - essay/project Underpass - Subway Vacuum cleaner - Hoover Wharf - Quay Wire - Telegram Wrench - Spanner Are these all correct? I mean I saw Americans to use "label" and Englishmen to use "fix" as well. Could native English speakers correct the above table? Setting "+" or "-" in one line would be sufficient. Thank you!

to be up to? What are you up to? - this is the phrase I have met very often. But I have never met the sentence like this: "I am up to sth". Is it used in everyday English?

Undercover Blues I have seen the movie Undercover Blues. There is a scene in it. Muerte calls Jeff Blue and says, 'Do you remember me?' And Jeff answers something. What does he say? 1. You have a very sexually voice but I'm a happily married man. 2. You have a very sexually voice but I'm, unhappily, married man. Could you help me with that? I guess it sounds almost the same way!

Your humble servant 2 The night, lying on the sand motionless and heavily, was gradually getting clear. The kibitkas were becoming reddish-brown, the stars was growing colder, and the donkey kept on braying, interrupting just for a minute sometimes. It looked like it would soon become clear and pale itself. The donkey fell silent only after the top of the copper-red sun had appeared at the side where there was a river. The donkey stretched its neck and began to touch with its soft lips all that was in front of its hoofs: a bit of dry manure, a flock, a piece of loam, a withered cane stock. A quiet fallen on the aul during dawn was so sudden that everybody being in the nearer kibitkas shuddered from head to foot. Some women peeked red tubes of their head-dresses out of the doors with female curiosity. As they thought it was a stranger’s donkey. It stood close by the pit chewing a leaf of kandym. A tent was located at the foot of the hill, and someone’s naked feet stuck out of mouth of the tent. The suntanned feet was laying on one another, flooded by the warm of the first rays of the sun.