I talked about my summer vacation in the previous post. I'm going to talk more about my summer vacation. I went near the sea with my high school friends. It was scary because there was no sea in my ho

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I talked about my summer vacation in the previous post. I'm going to talk more about my summer vacation. I went near the sea with my high school friends. It was scary because there was no sea in my hometown, but it was fun. I ate seafood and pasta there. We stayed at the inn, but there were a lot of insects because it was old. I didn't like insects, so it wasn't comfortable. We also went to a large aquarium. It was so spacious that I spent five hours there. I especially like penguins. The summer was very hot and windy, but I'm glad that I was able to make good memories with my friends.

Düzeltmeler · 1

In my previous post, I wrote about my summer vacation, but I have a bit more to share! I went on a trip near the coast with my high school friends. Coming from a landlocked prefecture, being right by the ocean was a bit intimidating at first, but it ended up being a lot of fun. We enjoyed some local seafood and pasta, and stayed at a traditional inn. However, because the building was quite old, there were quite a few bugs, which made it a bit uncomfortable since I'm not a fan of insects. We also visited a massive aquarium. It was so huge that we ended up spending five hours there! I have a special fondness for penguins, so seeing them was a highlight. Even though the summer weather was scorching and very windy, I'm so glad I was able to make such wonderful memories with my friends."

Perfectly understandable, with some nice detai! I think B1 level.Key changes include.. - Repeating "summer vacation" and "talk about" twice in a row sounds repetitive and robotic in English. Combining these thoughts into a single, flowing sentence using a conjunction ("but") creates a more natural, engaging blog-post or diary style. - Use of reduced adverbial clause to avoid the repetition of "I".(Coming from a landlocked..) - "...and stayed at a traditional inn. However, because the building was quite old, there were quite a few bugs, which made it a bit uncomfortable since I'm not a fan of insects." "However" and "which made it..." connects the ideas smoothly instead of having short, choppy sentences. - Changed "spacious" (which usually describes an empty room or building feeling roomy) to "huge" or "massive", which fits a large public aquarium better. Happy studying! 😀

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