Love to go summary of the first chapter
Debbie 16 years old lives with her mother in a flimsy condo in a small city near the beach. Last spring, her stay- at- home mother and successful lawyer father divorced. It was one of the biggest Shocks in her life.
In fact .she needs to start earning her own money now. So, she had to take the first job she could find as waitress at the heartbreak Cafe down on the beach.
She and other kids who work there came from very different backgrounds. So, at first it was not easy for her to work with them there .But, after some time/ after a while she adapted well to the kids. Joe Gabardini runs the place because his grandfather Mr. Garbarini is sick.
The beginning of her works over there she started out fighting with Joe a lot but now everything is great - in fact pretty good. Actually they got along quite well with each other.
Pam is the best friend of Debbie, who also works there. She had joined them a few weeks ago.
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Love to go: summary of the first chapter
Debbie, who is 16 years old, lives with her mother in a flimsy condo in a small city near the beach. Last spring, her stay-at-home (you don't need a space after a hyphen when using it to connect words) mother and successful lawyer father divorced (this might be better as "and her father, who is a successful lawyer", divorced). It was one of the biggest shocks in of her life. In fact .she needs to start earning her own money now (I think you mean "It meant she had to start earning her own money now"? You also changed to the present tense here instead of using the past). So, she had to take the first job she could find, as waitress, at the heartbreak Cafe, down on the beach.
She and the other kids who work there came come from very different backgrounds. So, at first it was not easy for her she found it difficult to work with them there .But However, after some time/ after a while (I assume you are using the forward slash to say that you aren't sure what sounds better? Either phrase is fine) she adapted well to the kids them. Joe Gabardini is running runs the place because his grandfather Mr. Garbarini is sick.
The beginning of her works over there she started out fighting with Joe a lot ("when she started working there she fought with Joe a lot") but now everything is great - in fact pretty good. Actually they got along quite well with each other.
This word comparison is a bit off. "Everything is great", meaning it's really good. Then you say "in fact pretty good" which is not as good as "great", but it's written like it's even better than great. This would work the other way around: "Now everything is pretty good - in fact it's great - they get along really well". I hope this makes sense?)
Pam is the best friend of Debbie's best friend, who also works there. She had joined them a few weeks ago.
This is very well written. Most of the changes I've made are stylistic and hopefully make the writing flow better. There aren't many gramatical issues.
Be careful with comparison words, as mentioned above. When you say "in fact" it's always followed by something that's better/worse, otherwise it's redundant. For example, "I feel good, in fact better than good, amazing", or "He was a bad teacher, in fact he was the worst".
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