Body Language: Your Body Speaks Louder Than Your Words

In 1972, Albert Mehrabian, a communications scholar, proposed a formula on the effectiveness of spoken communications. The formula is called 7/38/55. He explained that in terms of communicating feelings and attitudes, our body language plays a bigger role on in how our verbal message will be perceived by others.

The formula suggests that the meaning of our verbal message is 7% of the meaning of our verbal message depends on the spoken words, 38% depends on the tone of voice (paralinguistics), and 55% depends on the facial expression. However, these figures are still debatable among communication scholars and practicians.

But to me, even though I can’t measure the exact percentage of each category, I believe that without a proper nonverbal language (eye contact, facial expressions, body and hand movements, our tone of voice), our verbal language can be perceived differently.

So one day, my friend and I had a conversation. And during our conversation, she congratulated me over a certain matter. She said, ‘Omedetou gozaimasu’ which means ‘Congratulations’ in Japanese formal/polite style.

However, her body language did not seem to support the verbal language that she said to me. She did it without a smile and direct eye contact, with her body attached to her chair, and she used a dropping intonation (instead of a rising intonation). By the way, have you ever congratulated someone with a dropping intonation?

Those kinds of body langauge made me question her sincerity, and her ‘congratulations’ sounded like ‘that kind of accomplishment is easy. I can do it too’. So, instead of feeling like I had been praised, I feel like had been mocked.

Well, I am not an expert on nonverbal communications and I know sometimes people do this nonverbal language unintentionally and unconsciously. So, maybe I just have to appreciate the word ‘congratulations’ itself, rather than the meaning that she meant it too.

But next time, ‘say it like you mean it’ my friend.

You have a good correction already.  So I don't need to add my two cents.  However, this is what I would change...

Body Language: Your Body Speaks Louder Than Your Mouth Words

In 1972, Albert Mehrabian, a communications scholar, proposed a formula on the effectiveness of spoken communications. The formula called 7/38/55. He explained that in terms of communicating feelings and attitudes, our body language plays a bigger role on how our verbal message will be perceived by others.

The formula suggests that the meaning of our verbal message is 7% depends on the spoken words, 38 % depends on the tone of voice (paralinguistics), and 55 % depends on the facial expression. However, these figures are still debatable among communication scholars and practicians.

But to me, even though I can’t measure the exact percentage of each category, I believe that without a proper nonverbal language (eye contact, facial expressions, body and hand movements, our tone of voice), our verbal language can be perceived differently.

So one day, my friend and I had a conversation. And during our conversation, she congratulated me over a certain matter. She said, ‘Omedetou gozaimasu’ which means ‘Congratulations’ in Japanese formal/polite style.

However, her body language did not seem to support the verbal language that she said to me. She did it without a smile and direct eye contact, with her body attached to her chair, and she used a dropping intonation (instead of a rising intonation). By the way, have you ever congratulated someone with a dropping intonation?

Those kinds of body langauge made me question her sincerety, and her ‘congratulations’ sound like ‘that kind of accomplishment is easy. I can do it too’. So, instead of feel like had been praised, I feel like had been mocked.

Well, I am not an expert on non verbal communications and I know sometimes people do this non verbal language unintentionally and unconsciously. So, maybe I just have to appreciate the word ‘congratulations’ itself, rather than the meaning that she meant it too.

But next time, ‘say it like you mean it’ my friend.