Hi Diana!

Ok, here we go! There's some very difficult, knotty language here so I'll do my best! 

1. I saw a lot of abasement in her eyes.   
Abasement seems like a strange term to use here. Maybe something like 'humility' or something like 'a history of degredation' possibly, depending on whether your meaning is positive or negative.

2. I abhor people who aren't well-managed.
Someone who is 'well-managed' is 'well-managed' by someone else. As in, "The company is well managed by it's CEO." Perhaps you mean something like "I abhor people who don't manage themselves well."? 

3. The Queen had abrogated this traditional holiday.
I think it's ok but I'm not really 100% sure to be honest! I would say "The Queen had abolished this traditional holiday" maybe, or 'cancelled' if it was only one time.

4. He was given absolution from the prison.
This seems a little literary or poetic! We would probably say freedom, or more commonly "He was released from prison." It is also unlikely we would need 'the' unless we want to focus on one particular prison.

5. During the fasting they are abstemious of pork.
Normally, we would say "they abstain from pork". Abstemious is rarely positioned in this way in the way that 'wary' might be. 

6. His affluent and luxurious house surprised me.
Both of these words can be used to describe places, for example "an affluent neighbourhood" or "a luxurious hotel", but they seem a little odd to describe a house. Using these as nouns might work better though: "The affluence and luxuriousness of his house surprised me."

7. His family has a big affliction: his mother was died.
First of all, big and affliction don't collocate. Affliction is quite a strong term, so we would use a stronger adjective. 'Terrible' is a common collocation with affliction. 
Second of all, died is the past of the verb 'dead'. Here you would need the adjective 'dead'
Finally, it seems slightly odd to describe a dead mother as an affliction on the family. It's maybe possible, if it's very literary or poetic but normally we use affliction for something that is actively causing pain. The past death of a member of a family is of course painful but not in the same way as a disease or a broken arm is for example.

8. These amiable woman will achieve a success. She has lots of influential friends and acquaintances.
There is only one woman so it would be "this", not "these". Also, success is uncountable, so we cannot use 'a' with it.

9. She abhors people who bilk.
I'm not sure, it's a little unusual! It might be clearer if you give more information, e.g. "who bilk people out of their money." I think the word bilk would always need an object.

10. They have a really blithe life there.
Hmmm, I don't think they're blithe about life, I think they probably have a 'relaxed' or 'carefree' life there!

11. Because of his capricious character, he can't find any girlfriend.
He can't find 'a' girlfriend. 'Any' suggests he has many girlfriends and he can't physically find any of them! 

12. The mother chastised her child because he didn't do homework and has taken bad mark.
Who's homework did he not do? "He didn't do his homework." 
Also, we would say he 'received' or 'got' a bad mark.
Finally, be careful to use the past tense for both parts of the sentence or to use the past perfect ("had taken received")  in the second part, as it happened before the first part.

Ok, that's a lot of information! I hope it helps!! Please let me know if you have any questions at all!

Mark

check these sentence, please :)

*absolution could be given by a prison, but would normally be given rather by someone with moral or spiritual rather than physical power; a priest, rabbi, mullah etc.

**merely abstemious, they could eat some pork, and I think that they fast?

Very well written!