Your pronunciation is very accurate and easy to understand, with the usual issues presented by Chinese native speakers (you need to work on connecting your words together smoothly). Some of your vowels were a bit off, for example the vowel in “live” was too tense, sounding more like “leave”. Besides that, you seem to have merged the vowels of “not” and “thought”. This is extremely common in the US (about 40% of the population has the merger), and almost universal in Canada, although I prefer to teach them as separate phonemes (cot /kɑt/versus taught /tɔt/). The way you did it sounds almost like Canadian accent (with both sounds realized as /ɒ/), so it’s no big deal. Your grammar was mostly OK, so I mainly made some stylistic suggestions, while trying not to change your writing too much.