발표 제목은 고쳐해 줄 수 있을까? Hi all, I'll be presenting about Obama's successful personality traits/characteristics. I've tried making the title on my own but it doesn't seem right : Please advise! Thank you.

Question

발표 제목은 고쳐해 줄 수 있을까?
Hi all, I'll be presenting about Obama's successful personality traits/characteristics. I've tried making the title on my own but it doesn't seem right :

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Please advise! Thank you.

Answer

"personality traits" is probably best translated as "성격 특성".

The phrase itself sounds weird, though.

"오바마의 여러가지 성공한 성격 특성"  is probably better ("있는" is redundant").

It still sounds slightly odd to me, although it might just be my sensitivity.
I would prefer one of the two below, but all three probably can work.

1. "오바마의 성공을 가져오는 여러가지 성격 특성" 
 (Obama's many success-conducive personality traits)
2. "성공을 가져오는 오바마의 여러가지 성격 특성"
 (Obama's many personality traits that bring success)

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