Everything here is fine. The only thing I would change is- I wouldnt say 'aloud' on the first sentence. It just sounds wrong, even though it is not gramatticaly wrong.

"I can't hear anything while you're talking" and "I can't hear anything when you're talking" are both okay. "When you're talking" sounds a lot more casual than "while you're talking". "I can't hear anything while/when you're speaking" are both grammatically correct, but they don't sound very natural.