İngilizce Öğretmeni Bul
ICECE
Does this natural? Could you edit it?
If you have money, you should learn how to invest better than only save money in banks because, besides the benefits of attain your goal, building your wealth, financially independent, It will protect risk form not invest today because money today more valuable than money in the future.
15 Ağu 2019 15:12
Yanıtlar · 1
It seems you are listing all the ideas in one sentence by connecting them with a comma. You should try to better organize the flow of thoughts. Separate the ideas clearly into independent units, and connect them with conjunctions as necessary.
Some clear errors.
* benefits of attain your goal = infinitive form "attain" after "of" is always wrong.
* protect risks from = a risk is something to avoid, not protect.
Here's a paraphrasing example.
If you have extra money, you should learn how to invest it rather than just put it in the bank. Besides the obvious benefits of greater wealth and financial independence you gain from investing, it will protect you against future risks. This is because money today will grow in value tomorrow.
15 Ağustos 2019
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