Was found in the table. I was sitting in my room on the floor. In these days everything was on the floor's, a complete mess. I did everything on the floor: studied English, ate, watched movies, read, smoked, and even time to time fell asleep. I was very pleased. There was a feeling of something unusual, chaos, destruction's and creative disorder. I liked to wrap up in a plaid, to hold in a hand a cup of coffee and to surf the Internet from PC or from phone. After all wacky events in my life it seemed to me a very logical to live in such a mess. Just then I realized that I feel very comfortable to being alone. You know, pleasant feeling that nobody irritates you. I liked to sit until the morning, enjoying the silence. Perhaps it's loneliness was yet another way to escape from reality, from problems, from myself. For that moment I have got rid of all in its surroundings. This awareness of loneliness had warmed my soul. All my life I thought that I'll just go crazy if I stay alone. In loneliness there's nothing scary. Yeah, time to time you lose mind, but overall everything is normal. Oh yeah, in loneliness you are meeting with itself. We don't want to see its true face, because we know in advance that perhaps it will unpleasant. Be yourself and stay alone with yourself sometimes unbearably painful. Actually, I've been through a hell of pain, getting to know myself. It was a long agonizing path, but I accepted my nature. Actually true-I made an important decision that would not made my "public version". And I'm glad. I'm glad that I was walking these miles of black and white stripes, and was left alone in my room on the floor, with a cup of coffee in hands.