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Random writing
Once, there was this guy whom I love. He is a simple person, and ordinary. I feels good when he is around. However, something has changed recently. When I try to recall what we have done together, I feel a sudden unfamiliar feeling. We used to have long conversations, and we are always looking forward to our next meet-ups. Weirdly, I no longer feel the excitement in me, instead, I feel the distance between us. I guess the problem is not on him, yet on me.
Perhaps, I'm starting to be afraid. Afraid of the demands by him, afraid of the bar he set. I'm not prepaid. The more proactive he is, the uneasy I am. We never discuss about what kind of connection we want, and I feel great being close friends, and that's all I need. What I start to dislike about him, is when I found that he is trying to chain me in some ways. I don't like to guess what he has in mind, neither being forced to change myself because of a invisible bound.
I understand most of the people are trying to be friendly, but sometimes, they are over-friendly. I don't know how you feel, but when everyone is treating me nicely, I feel pressurised. I start to have questions in mind: "What do you want?", "Why do you do this?", "Should I do this, or that?". I feel messed up, because I can't tell who is sincere to me, and who isn't. In this kind of situation, I choose to reject everything from them.
Let's continue about "him". Same situation, I don't know how to face him. We are too close to be just "friends". I just hope that time could somehow dilute this friendship a bit, and slow things down too. I hope we can both meet someone special in the future, who could change our current thoughts, and let our "once love" remains as a part of beautiful memories.
I'm giving myself five years time. Five years time to keep in touch with him, and find a way to preserve our friendship.
He's a nice guy. To be honest, I used to love him, puppy love. He is somehow special to me. Because I ever loved him, and we are so close. To tell him "Let's just be friends" is hard, because I feel like I'm hurting him.
I don't know what he has in mind. This is a complicated matter, and I'll let the time to do it's magic. If we are meant to be together, then no matter how far we have been apart, we will meet again. If we are meant to be each other's life passer, then let it be. Let this small "interlude" be our special memory, remain forever in our hearts. Only we know, what happened. :)
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《 随笔 》
曾经试过真的很爱一个人，可是，最近试着想他时，突然感到一阵陌生。以前对他有说不完的话题、各种的撒娇、恨不得每天都见面，但现在呢？觉得和他有了距离，问题不是处在他身上，而是我。
本来，我还以为是他变了。后来，看过我们以前的通讯记录后，才发现，变的是我。他还是像以前那样主动关心，找话题，而我，从以前的“秒”回，到现在“天”回。对他越来越不耐烦，也没那个兴致想把话题继续。这样对他好不公平… 我以前不那么做的，为什么就在这几个月里，全都变了样？
是我开始害怕了吗？害怕他对我的要求，害怕达不到他的标准？他越是主动，我越是不安。他没说他想我们的关系维持在哪个点上，却又有意无意地想绑着我。这是我最讨厌的事情。我愿意付出，但不是无条件的那么做。暧暧昧昧地跟一个人交往，太累了。我不喜欢去猜测他在想什么，也不想为了个隐形的关系绳去改变自己的生活。
这也是为什么，很多人对我好，但我却当没一回事。当每个人对你都不错时，压力就来了。你不知道谁是真心对你好的，谁是为了个人目的而那么做。在那种情况下，你要不就都接受，要不就全拒绝。我选择拒绝，奈何他们读不懂什么是“拒绝”。
再把话题转回“他”身上吧。我不知道应该用怎么样的心态去面对他。我们太亲近了。我只能暗自希望时间会把这段关系冲淡一些、让它回到朋友的轨道上。希望未来的日子里，我们俩遇到的人，能改变我们的想法，让我们的执着、与最初的喜欢，停留在回忆中最美的那段时间。
我打算给自己五年的时间。
五年的时间让我们在保持联络之余，也找到维护这段友谊的良方。
他是个好人，我不想伤害他。他和我碰过的告白者不同。我把那些曾经对我告白过的对象都当成了朋友、兄弟。所以在他们告白的时候，我可以很直接地婉拒、甚至我们也能当好朋友。但他不一样。他是我爱过的人，哪怕只是曾经，我也做不到直接说“我们从今以后只是朋友”，这种话。面对曾经爱过的人，我们放得下，但他们在我们心上烙下的脚步，太深。因为彼此爱过，以后只当朋友，这种话变得更难以启齿。不是不舍得，而是害怕再次伤到对方。
因为我不知道他是怎么想的。或许我们表面上只是朋友，但他心里还抱有侥幸，如果这时我说了“我们还是当朋友吧”，这只会令双方更尴尬，还会伤到对方，谁知道他会不会误以为自己一直以来都是一厢情愿的？
这种事情真的很难处理，所以我才决定留给时间做主。如果真是注定要在一起的，那么不管我日后的人生有多曲折，最后还是会遇上他，爱上他。如果注定他只是个插曲，那就让最美的那段回忆，永保心中。:)
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Respect
I got a call from a girl-friend's dad.
So, it happened like this...
I received a call from Mr. X. He called in the early morning at 7, and I have no idea why he called me that early. I was cooking breakfast that time, and my phone rang. My brother was outside of the kitchen, so I asked him to pick up the call instead. In less than 15 seconds time, my brother rushed into the kitchen, and hand the phone to me.
I answered, "Hello? Good morning, who's this on the phone?"
I didn't get a positive reply, and all I got are yelling, cursing, and insults.
Mr. X sounded urgent, "Liz, is that you? Who's that guy on the phone just now? Where are you? Why is there another person answering your phone? Is Ceci with you? Do you know that Ceci didn't came home since yesterday night? I'm very worried about you girls!"
I was puzzled, and shock, but I still get to answer the questions. I said, "Yes, this is Liz. I was busy making breakfast, so I asked my cousin brother to pick up the phone instead. Ceci is not with me now, and I'm at home. What's wrong? "
Mr. X : "What's wrong?! You are asking me what's wrong?!?! Ceci has gone missing! She told me that she's with you! But after she went out yesterday's evening, I have lost contact with her! How could you do this to me? WTF are you guys thinking about? Don't you know that I'm very worried?!"
I'm pissed off that time, however, I'm still able to talk calmly, "Mr. X, I know nothing about what happened to Ceci. It's very clear that Ceci has lied to you. What you should do now, is to call her cell again, until she picks up the call. Else, you would need to go to the police station and report to the police."
Mr. X was very angry, and he yelled over the phone, "I don't need you to teach me what to do! You are so irresponsible! Ceci is you friend! She never lied to me before! Now she did this, it must be your fault!! I wonder how your parents have taught you all these years! Is this how you should talk to me? You b****!"
The last thing I said before hanging up the phone was, "Mr. X, I respect that you are an elderly to me, but it doesn't mean that you can insult me as you like. Ceci's your daughter, not mine. You can't take care of your own daughter, and you blamed everything on a third party. As a friend of Ceci, should I take a larger responsibility than you, the father of her? Think about it, and sorry, I have to go now."
Note: Ceci is just a hi-bye friend, and I don't know how her dad manage to get my number.
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自我介绍
Notes 写了几个，但是都没有详细地介绍过自己。XD 所以现在就来补上一段吧！
我今年18岁，96年出生，属猪（不要怀疑，真的属猪！因为生日是96年的一月份，正好赶上了农历十二月），水瓶座的~ 出生在四季皆夏的东南亚国家——汶莱。对了，我是华人，而且从幼儿园到高二就读的都是华校，所以华文不错，还算流利。再加上在家和父母交谈也多以华文为主，所以… 程度也自然不差，属于中上吧~
我的英文名是 Liz Yong，华文名也挺普通的，就和吴尊女儿——neinei 的真名一样，姓氏不同。:P 现在呢，还在放假中，明年一月份准备上大学。上大学准备读的是经济学，还有工商管理。我之前五年的时间读的是理科，突然换商科应该很奇怪吧？不过真心觉得我不适合读理科（注：不是理科不适合我，但我觉得我没那个兴趣去读理科）。
我喜欢做的事情还蛮多的。通常在家里喜欢吃，也喜欢自己动手做。我喜欢吃日本料理、泰国餐、印度煎饼、意大利菜等等。只要是能吃的，我还真没遇到过自己不喜欢的。哈哈哈哈，这算是好事吧？起码我不挑食。不过，我唯一不吃的，就是…… 苦瓜！除了苦瓜炒蛋，其余的苦瓜料理，全无兴趣。除了吃的以外，我也喜欢看小说。英文小说、中文小说、马来文小说，我全都看。一年里有一半的零用钱都拿来买课外读物了呀…… 好吧，不说那么闷的兴趣了，说点别的吧！运动方面我也OK，虽然长得大只，但运动没问题啦~ 最喜欢打羽毛球、篮球还行、跑步也不错哦！
虽然我大部分时间都呆在家里，但如果可以的话，还是会比较希望可以往外跑。最近刚拿到驾照不久，现在天天都有在练开车，就怕太久没开，会生疏！大概这个月为就可以一个人驾车，旁边不需要有人坐着指点了。好吧，可能我习惯驾车的时间对某些人来说会比较长，但是，没办法啊，女生嘛~ 再说，开手动挡汽车本来就难啊……（找借口中）
大概就是这么多了吧？:) 呵呵呵~
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90后的，请硬起来！别再做草莓族了！！！！
做决定对于90后来说，有一定的难度，尤其是95后的朋友们。我身边的朋友们，对做决定这回事，很容易感到焦虑、烦恼。说得好听点，是选择太多，一时无法给出答复；说的不好听点，是没主见。一群人到餐厅吃饭，每个人手里都拿着餐牌翻来翻去，看得很认真。我每次都是第一个点餐的那个。我后来发现到一个很有趣的现象，那就是，在我点完餐后的五分钟以内，大家都会陆续点餐。他们点的食物里，有一半以上和我点的一模一样，要不然就是很类似。为什么会这样呢？很简单，因为他们都不知道自己要吃什么。
我真不明白，点餐罢了，真有那么纠结吗？在餐牌上看到想吃的，不就点吧，干嘛一定要看别人的眼色来决定吃什么呢？有一次，我和一个女生朋友出去吃饭，到了家泰式餐厅。我喜欢吃辣的，于是叫了一客泰式绿咖喱，还有一小碗的酸辣汤。那位女生朋友叫了和我一样的食物。不到一会儿，午饭上桌，我吃得很香。她吃了第一口后，就没再碰过那盘绿咖喱，还猛灌冰水。后来看她怪可怜的，我就另外点了两份不辣的小菜。回想起来，还是觉得很好笑。
撇开点餐这种小事不说，中六选科算是很重要了吧？很多我认识的90后朋友们，选科都不是自己做的决定，而是父母代选的。父母的决定犹如圣旨，孩子们连多说两句也不敢，平和地接受了一切。我真的搞不懂，未来是你的，干嘛让你父母为你做决定啊？好吧，现在上大学了，本科读什么，还是父母安排。上学不到三个月，就已经在抱怨跟不上进度、课业繁重、听不懂老师教什么、越上越累、没兴趣等等。
我只想说……
决定权曾经交到你手上，是你把它推给了父母，没有要去争取。现在才来抱怨说念的课程不适合自己，你是闹哪样呢？
对于常和我哭诉大学生活不如人意的朋友们，我只能说：“我爱莫能助啦！” 既然都已经走到这个份上了，想要回头，也没可能了。你没办法和爸妈沟通，自己又总是犹豫不决、无法做出决定，还能怎样呢？努力点，撑下去，把这四年的路走完吧！
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做决定
做决定对于90后来说，有一定的难度，尤其是95后的朋友们。我身边的朋友们，对做决定这回事，很容易感到焦虑、烦恼。说得好听点，是选择太多，一时无法给出答复；说的不好听点，是没主见。一群人到餐厅吃饭，每个人手里都拿着餐牌翻来翻去，看得很认真。我每次都是第一个点餐的那个。我后来发现到一个很有趣的现象，那就是，在我点完餐后的五分钟以内，大家都会陆续点餐。他们点的食物里，有一半以上和我点的一模一样，要不然就是很类似。为什么会这样呢？很简单，因为他们都不知道自己要吃什么。
我真不明白，点餐罢了，真有那么纠结吗？在餐牌上看到想吃的，不就点吧，干嘛一定要看别人的眼色来决定吃什么呢？有一次，我和一个女生朋友出去吃饭，到了家泰式餐厅。我喜欢吃辣的，于是叫了一客泰式绿咖喱，还有一小碗的酸辣汤。那位女生朋友叫了和我一样的食物。不到一会儿，午饭上桌，我吃得很香。她吃了第一口后，就没再碰过那盘绿咖喱，还猛灌冰水。后来看她怪可怜的，我就另外点了两份不辣的小菜。回想起来，还是觉得很好笑。
撇开点餐这种小事不说，中六选科算是很重要了吧？很多我认识的90后朋友们，选科都不是自己做的决定，而是父母代选的。父母的决定犹如圣旨，孩子们连多说两句也不敢，平和地接受了一切。我真的搞不懂，未来是你的，干嘛让你父母为你做决定啊？好吧，现在上大学了，本科读什么，还是父母安排。上学不到三个月，就已经在抱怨跟不上进度、课业繁重、听不懂老师教什么、越上越累、没兴趣等等。
我只想说……
决定权曾经交到你手上，是你把它推给了父母，没有要去争取。现在才来抱怨说念的课程不适合自己，你是闹哪样呢？
对于常和我哭诉大学生活不如人意的朋友们，我只能说：“我爱莫能助啦！” 既然都已经走到这个份上了，想要回头，也没可能了。你没办法和爸妈沟通，自己又总是犹豫不决、无法做出决定，还能怎样呢？努力点，撑下去，把这四年的路走完吧！
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Hi, how are you?
Today's a not-so-ordinary Sunday to me. I met someone that I have not seen for ages, and I didn't recognise him, he was the one who came forward and said hello.
Can't believe that we met each other in a book store. I was in the English section of the book store, reading a novel titled 'How to fall in love', by Cecelia Ahern, while a guy was standing few steps away from me, with few pieces of books in hand. I stood in front of the book shelf for quite some time, and decided to buy the novel. As I was walking towards the payment counter, that guy blocked my way, and said, "Hi Liz, how are you?".
I smiled, and looked at him, trying to figure out who he is.
Is he one of my form six ex-classmates? Have I seen him anywhere before? What's his name? How does he know my name?
More and more questions were popping out in my mind, but I have no idea who he is. It's very embarrassing, but I still have the courage to ask, "I'm so sorry, who are you?"
He smiled back, and answered, "I'm the one who always make fun of you during grade 6. I was a transfer-student back then."
The mystery was solved! He's Albert! Wow, I haven't seen him in almost seven years time, and he looked so different now!
We paid for our books, and went to a coffee shop instead to continue our conversation.
We talked about those days when we used to be very noisy and childish. He still remembers that I taught him Chinese and Malay everyday after school. We did homework together, and sometime, I checked his homework after he was done.
"I'm starting my life next year, taking majors in both Chinese and English, hoping to become a translator in the future." That's what Albert said, and I never expect that. He used to hate studying languages so much, but in the end, he is doing it in Uni!
Seven years time, and look how we have changed. We are so different than before. We are in paths that we have never expected to be in. That's the challenge that everyone will have to go through. We pick things up along the way, and these determine who we are in the future. Today, you might have an ambition to become a doctor; In few years time, your ambition might change to engineer. This is pretty normal. When you get the chance to be exposed to things that you have never seen or experience before, you develop new interest. And this new interest, helps you to find your true self.
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生日快乐
8月30号，Fifi 的生日，她终于20岁啦！如果我没记错的话，从我认识她到现在，今年是我第一次没跟她一起庆祝生日。算一算，我认识她也已经有六年的时间咯~ 中六毕业以后，她选择到澳洲继续读书，而我，选择了留在这里，用半年的时间想想自己以后要读什么。
我们几乎每天都会视讯通话，每天都有聊不完的话题。当她还在国内的时候，没找我找的那么勤过；一到了国外，天天都打电话来烦我。我们聊过很多事情，她也总没放弃过自己的一些小想法。真是个固执的家伙。呵呵呵呵~ 年纪明明比我大两岁，但固执起来，那性子和小孩闹脾气没两样。啊，真的很想她丫！！
其实…… 我也不知道要写什么…… (/▽＼=) 碰巧，今天是她生日、碰巧，我突然很想她，仅此而已。:P
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