Are you happy It's so strange that I have been down for weeks . I tried to read books , listen to music and draw pictures to relax myself , but I still feel down . I don't like this feeling at all . I could feel happy and relaxed when I was drawing something , but now there is only anxiety left . When I felt sort of better , my father's passive words with anger broke my peace . He didn't know what he were doing is really bad to him . Nothing could be changed with complains . Attitude can't decide everything but influence how you feel . I do need to change my way to think and get out of sadness as soon as possible . It's a pity that my friends couldn't spend time with me . They told me they can pay a visit here before . But both of them can't come here for reasons . I was informed the bad news in one week . Everyone has their difficulties in life , I should be more strong . It seems like I'm swimming in a deep and blue sea .

Some Good Memory of Music Festivel In Apl 2014 , It was my first time to go music festival -----MIDI Music Festivel . It was a great experience that people with the same hobby got together to sing and dance . I love such wonderful and joyful activity to expend my energy and release myself from stressful work . There were so many untold feelings when I spent time here . I laughed and cried without thinking any complicated things , just did what I want . I'm thinking about what the rock music means to me , Whether I like it . Maybe I just like the feeling rock brings to me . Rock is not only a kind of music but also a special spirit which can lead me to go trough difficult to be a brave one . That's the courage inspire me to struggle against the plaint life . The atmosphere in the MIDI Music Festival was so exciting and meaningful. That's the reason why I like it .

Do you like lavender ? I used lavener oil to cure zit on my face when I was a freshman in the college . It did a good job and left me a good impression. So I bought the lavender immediately when I saw it in the flowers shop . Then , I began to search information about lavender caring . She grew up with little cute purple flowers as time passsed by . I liked her for not only her charming fragrance but also her silence in growing up . You can't see many tiny difference in everyday , but you can realise her change after some days . All of these pleased me once I saw the changes . It was a pity that she died for dry when I had been busy with finnal exam . I ignored to water her so that she pass away in a pretty pain way . She stood there without activity and live veranda . I was so lazy to deal with her body and left her alone in the veranda until I graduated . I had to clean the veranda before I left school . I stared at her for a while and then dug her body up . I thought everything was down when I finished digging . However , the fragrance of the lavender emitted full of the air . What stoned me was the soil recked of scent . Though she was died , though she had died for a long time , the soil she where grew up had her fragrance , reminded me of the memory I took care of her and her silent living . I was so surprised and moved when I smell the scent from the withered herb plant . It was amazing and magical moment that I never forget . Today , I wrote this for memory the lavender and tell myself to be a person like her . Keep doing the things what I should do in the rest of life and never forget the things what I insist in till the end of life .

Dream I hope I can have a dream and struggle for it . What's your dream ? I always asked people such quetions when I was a young child . Now , I seldom ask people these questions and also be afraid of being asked the same quetion . I can't answer the question because I lose it . It must be funny , you won't lost your dream if it's your real dream in your heart . The real dream is the most important thing that you never give it up . I gave it up like a shame coward . Maybe it's just a hobby not a dream . I'm not sure whether it's my dream , but I want to treasure it as a dream . Can I pick it up and insist it whatever I could make it ? I watched a short video about dream this morning , that's what make me want to think about my life and dream . I have to face the problems , I'feel guilty that I don't insist my dream and plead abandon in excuse of lazy . I want to change it . I'm not good enough and always be afraid of failure . To be braver , there is nobody tells you how to do , everyone has its life ; don't expect the others to tell you where you should go , it's none of their businese . Though I hope there be someone who can work with me together , it's impossible that everyone has their work to do , I shoudn't bother them . Well , I need to be more conscientious and inspire myself everyday . Wake up early and go to bed early to form a good habit . read more , learn more , think more . I really hope I can be a better one . If I give it up again , I hope one of you could stand out and point at me , say :　hey , you guy , don't you remember your dream ? Cheer up ! The duty of youth is to chanllege corruption . ------Kurt Cobain.

how can I build a system of studying It will be easier if you have a good memory on study . It's hard for me to memory things well , I know it's normal that people forget the new things they have learned with time passing by . One of my friends told me to repeat it many times in your heart so that you can remember it better . He also metioned the system of studying . Building a system of study is very important way to study , I ignore it when I was studying . How to build a system of studying in proper way ? How can I learn new things more efficiently ? I have no idea about them . It's time to think about these problems before I start to learn something new . I'm not good at managing time and always waste much time on nonsense things . It's big problem that I need to deal with . PS : Sometimes I write notebook entries in mass without logical , I'm trying to make them more fluently and less mistakes . Thank for your correction . I'd like to help you to learn Mandarin if you want to learn it .

My Best Friend Everyone has friends , good friends and best friends . Who is your best friends ? Do you always contact with them ? Today , I wanna talk about one of my best friends , acctually , she maybe is the only one . We have been friends for many years . We got to know each other when we are middle school students . We were classmates so that we can spend time with each other talking about the courses , teachers and so on . We wouldn't be friends if we just had talking without same hobbies . Anime are atractive to us , we shared cartoon magazines and videos. We also like reading books . We studied in the same high school but not same college. We are still friends with few contacts . Sometimes , I feel grateful that she spend much time with me when I grew up to a mature women . I lose some friends with few communication and different views of life . I can talk with her easily as I can tell her whatever I want to talk . I hope we can always be friends .

Wanna quit Recently , I felt very confused about how to make my life more interesting ? What can I do for my career ? Life is not like the story that you can control in your hand . Since I graduated from university , I have been working in a wedding dresses shop for almost one year . My mojor is finacial management , this job is not related to my mjaor. At the baginning , I felt very happy and excited about this job because I liked choosing the proper dresses for brides . However , something happened to me , I changed my mind . Not everyone chooss the one they love to be their partner , I don't like that though it's none of my business . Everyone has his or her life , they make their desitions and choose the path . It's not the reason that I feel unhappy .All the things that I can do is giving some suggestions according to their figures and plans of wedding . I'm bored with my job because I can learn little from it . I don't get any skills about my major , I'm afraid that I coundn't find a job about finfinancial if I were to quit . I'm thinking about learning something useful so that I can find a better job and learn more . I start to learn English and try to spare time in learning it everyday . There are a lot of things I need to learn and practice for a better job . Hope everything goes well .