The human mind is tiring ! The human mind is a strange thing. For weeks, months all I could think about was to be ALOOOONE. You know, just not to be around people (People that I love but... sometime they are just to much to bear), to have some space and time just for me. To do whatever I want, to be selfish and lazy and stay in my PJ all day long if I choose to... to stop being a responsable adulte for a few minutes. Coze, who I'm kidding, lockdown had his toll on everyone and mum are not just super heros equip to face everything and anything. And you know what ? This week my wish came trought. My husband went back to his office, my little boy went to play tennis all day and my darling teenage daughter went to a camp to sail. The only one who stay at home was... ME ! Oh dear, the silence... the silence is underrating. For the first time in month there was no sound in my house and I bath in that precious silence. I never knew that silence was a luxury. And to celebrate this date I did... nothing. Nothing at all and I didn't feel guilty at all (well a little bit maybe but wich pleasure is really enjoyable without a little bit of guilt). But the mind... the mind is a giddy thing and instead of leaving me alone in my newfound bliss he remind me of something : I was alone. And this time it wasn't a good feeling because I start to miss everybody. And to avoid that feeling I decide to do something. Anything. So I start cleaning rooms, washing clothes,vacuum the carpets... and whithout knowing I was back to my F... routine. At one point I decided to check in with my dear family. But they all answer the same way : it was great. they having so much fun (well maybe not my husband but the relief of being out of the house was very clear in his voice) and they all hang up on me telling me they have stuff to do so "bye, will talk to you later". Like I say, the mind is a strange thing because suddenly I felt the urge to strangle everyone of them. I didn't do it of course. And when they all came home I welcom them with a big smile and listen to them recount their day in detail. It was not right for me to be mad at them and if I didn't make anything for diner it not a retaliation. I told myself I just encourage them to be independant. (and in wich book is it written that the one who's left at home is force to make diner ??? NOWHERE because that book had being burn long ago in my backyard) The human mind is really a funny thing to the point I wish, somethime, I could just... stop thinking.