During my summer vacation, I traveled to Hokkaido, Osaka, and Kyoto with my mother. This week, I want to talk about my trip to Kyoto and Osaka. In Kyoto, I ate delicious warabi mochi and visited Kiyomizu-dera Temple and Fushimi Inari Shrine. The places were very beautiful, and I really enjoyed visiting them. In Osaka, I ate about four different kinds of takoyaki. They were so delicious that I wanted to eat more. I also enjoyed walking around the city and trying local food. I had a wonderful time in both Kyoto and Osaka. I would love to visit them again someday. I also bought some souvenirs for my family and friends.
ابحث بين معلمي الإنجليزية المتعددين...
التصحيحات · 2
1
During my summer vacation, I traveled to Hokkaido, to Osaka, and to Kyoto with my mother. This week, I want to talk about my trips to Kyoto and Osaka. In Kyoto, I ate delicious warabi mochi and visited Kiyomizu-dera Temple and the Fushimi Inari Shrine. These places were very beautiful, and I really enjoyed visiting them. In Osaka, I ate about four different kinds of takoyaki. They were so delicious that I wanted to eat more. I also enjoyed walking around the city and trying local food. I had a wonderful time in both Kyoto and Osaka. I would love to visit them again someday. I also bought some souvenirs for my family and friends.
Sounds great!
0
During my summer vacation, I traveled to Hokkaido, Osaka, and Kyoto with my mother. This week, I want to focus on our time in Kyoto and Osaka. In Kyoto, I ate delicious warabi mochi and visited Kiyomizu-dera Temple and Fushimi Inari Shrine. The scenery was stunning, and I really enjoyed taking it all in. In Osaka, I tried about four different kinds of takoyaki. They were so delicious that I wanted to eat even more! I also enjoyed walking around the city, sampling the local food, and buying souvenirs for my family and friends. I had a wonderful time in both cities and would love to visit them again someday
Your writing is solid at an Upper-Intermediate (B2) level. Fantastic detail and a friendly, warm tone! Sounds like you had great time in Kyoto and Osaka.
Some key changes I made.. .
- The scenery was stunning, and I really enjoyed taking it all in."
Replacing "The places" with "The scenery" and "visiting them" with "taking it all in" sounds much more natural and when talking about famous temples and sightseeing spots.
- "...sampling the local food, and buying souvenirs for my family and friends. I had a wonderful time in both cities and would love to visit them again someday."
Sounds more natural to mention the buying of souvenirs alongside the other activities.
هل تريد التطور بشكل أسرع؟
انضم لمجتمع التعلّم هذا وجرّب التمرينات المجانية!
لا تفوّت فرصة تعلّم لغة جديدة وأنت مرتاح في منزلك. تصفّح مجموعتنا المختارة من مدرّسي اللغات ذوي الخبرة وسجّل في درسك الأول الآن!
ابدأ التعلم اليوم
