HILARIOUS SPANISH SLANG. THE CASE OF ARGENTINA

Yesterday I had my first Italki informal tutoring and we talked about some informal words and how meanings change depending on the culture. Sometimes, explaining the meaning of some expressions can be difficult and they may sound inappropriate or ridiculous.
If you are learning Spanish and you are interested in the informal variations, here is the interesting case of Argentina:

 

An Argentine doesn’t “kill time.”
He goes “into a fart cloud.” (Está al re pedo.)

An Argentine doesn’t greet you with a “Hi, How are you?”
He just says, “How are you doing, Big Balls?” (¿Qué hacés, boludo?)

An Argentine doesn’t say “I don’t care about something.”
He says, “I care about that the way I care about a turd.” (Me importa un sorete.)

An Argentine doesn’t “go fast.”
He goes at the “Saints’ farts speed.” (Va a los santos pedos.)

An Argentine doesn’t leave you “speechless.”
He “shuts your ass.” (Te cierra el orto.)

An Argentine doesn’t just “have a problem.”
He has a “soap-opera-sized quilombo (gigantic problem).” (Tiene un quilombo de novela.)

An Argentine doesn’t “hit you.”
He “violently shits sticks on you.” (Te recontra caga a palos.)

An Argentine woman doesn’t have a “large bust.”
She has “a lot of rubber.” (Mucha goma.)

An Argentine man doesn’t have a “small penis.”
He has a “peanut.” (Tiene un maní.)

An Argentine never says “it’s so bad.”
He says, “What a sharp drop, crazy man!” (¡Qué bajón, loco!)

An Argentine is not “ignorant.”
He’s “pure grease.” (Es un grasa.)

An Argentine is not a “very good friend.”
He’s a friend made out of iron. (Es de fierro.)

An Argentine doesn’t “scold” you.
He “powerfully fart-shits on you.” (Te re caga a pedos.)

An Argentine doesn’t ask you to “calm down.”
He asks you to “rescue yourself.” (Rescatate.)

An Argentine doesn’t try to “seduce a woman.”
He “releases the greyhounds.” (Le suelta los galgos.)

An Argentine doesn’t do something “right away.”
He does it “at a touch.” (Lo hace al toque.)

An Argentine doesn’t “imagine.”
He “flashes.” (Flashea.)

An Argentine is not just “in big trouble.”
He’s “shitting fire.” (Está cagando fuego.)

An Argentine doesn’t just “lack interest” in something.
That something can “suck one of his balls.” (Le chupa un huevo.)

An Argentine doesn’t “get distracted.”
He “hangs himself.” (Se cuelga.)

An Argentine is not “feeling like something.”
Something “is painting him.” (Le pinta.)

An Argentine doesn’t “laugh his head off.”
He laughs so hard “he shits himself.” (Se caga de risa.)

An Argentine doesn’t “fall in love.”
He’s “up to his hands.” (Está hasta las manos.)

An Argentine doesn’t “get hurt.”
He “becomes shit.” (Se hace mierda.)

An Argentine doesn’t “make a mistake doing something.”
It comes out “like his ass.” (Le sale para el orto.)

An Argentine doesn’t “bother someone.”
He “inflates said person’s eggs.” (Infla los huevos.)

An Argentine is not “afraid.”
He’s “shitting himself up to his legs.” (Está cagado hasta las patas.)

An Argentine is not a “good guy.”
He’s a “first class guy.” (Es de primera.)

An Argentine is not “tired.”
He’s “fissured.” (Está fisurado.)

More like this: 11 phrases only Argentines understand
An Argentine has never “had enough” of something.
He’s “rotten.” (Está podrido.)

An Argentine doesn’t “call you on the phone.”
He “hits you with a tube.” (Pega un tubazo.)

An Argentine is not “very excited.”
His “batteries are fully charged.” (Tiene las re pilas.)