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NCE3 L52 Summary writing Title: Mud is mud. The writer's cousin, Harry, had a bad habit of making outrageous request to shop assistant for goods that don't exist. As usual, he came to an exclusive cosmetic shop asking for "Myrolite". The shop assistant looked puzzled and she expressed that she never heard of this product. Harry explained that it was a hard substance which can remove freckles. The woman tried to figure it out and searched shelf after shelf but it turned out nothing can meet Harry's requirements. Harry pretended to being mildly annoyed, thus the woman promised to order something for him. Intoxicated by his success, Harry then asked for"perfumed mud". He expected the woman would look at him in blank astonishment.It was his turn to be surprised because it does exist! Finally, he spent 20 pounds on the product. He decided that the game he invented might be proved to be expensive. Now it adorns his bookcase and it is his first and last purchase of rare cosmetics. Please correct it, thanks! :)

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NCE3 L52 Summary writing

Title: Mud is mud.

The writer's cousin, Harry, had a bad habit of making outrageous requests to shop assistants for goods that don't didn't exist.
As usual, he came to an exclusive cosmetic shop asking for "Myrolite". The shop assistant looked puzzled and she expressed that she had never heard of this product. Harry explained that it was a hard substance to find, which can remove freckles. The woman tried to figure it out and searched shelf after shelf but it turned out that nothing can could meet Harry's requirements. Harry pretended to being mildly annoyed, thus the woman promised to order something for him.
Intoxicated by his success, Harry then asked for "perfumed mud". He expected the woman would look at him in blank astonishment. It was his turn to be surprised because it does did exist!
Finally, he spent 20 pounds on the product.
He decided that the game he invented might be proved prove to be expensive.
Now it adorns his bookcase and it is his first and last purchase of rare cosmetics.


Please correct it, thanks! :)

 

 

Everything in green = corrections

Everything in blue = better alternatives.


I used 'didn't' and 'did' instead of 'don't' and 'does' because it sounded like you were talking in the past tense. Also, I wasn't sure if you were the substance was hard to find or just a hard substance, so I added 'to find,' if that's what you meant. There a couple of times you forgot a space after a full spot, so I corrected that as well.


If you want any more feedback on my corrections, don't hesitate to ask!

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