Mona
WRITING of IELTS _Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors or not? Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Some places have carried out that foreigner should cost more to visit the local famous ancient sites than local people. In my view, I am opposite against this opinion. There are some drawbacks of different treatments to support my statement. First of all, this clause will clearly enhance the cost and burden of traveling of foreign tourists. For instance, if a four-member-family, the parents with their son and daughter, are going to visit there that the amount of the entrance fee will be charged are totally higher than local family, which means that the gap of price between each family are pretty huge and obvious that will reduce the pleasure of this family to travel there. In addition, compared with local people, the discriminatory pricing will make other fell unfair and be hurt form the bottom of their heart, which seems that they are not so welcomed by this country. However, we can also notice that it can be beneficial in some aspects, such as it can increase the quality of tourists to protect the safety of tourists attraction in perfect condition; government can get more profits to benefit society and local people; to confirm that this is local folk’s privilege to appreciate those heritage that their ancestor left for them. All in all, with the trend of the overwhelming globalization, to travel abroad is very easy and popular. So, I think that to treat interracial travelers as equal as we can ,which is an idea and harmonious way for all of us.
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التصحيحات · 4
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Foreigners should pay more than locals to visit cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

 

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Some places have carried out that foreigners should pay more to visit China’s famous ancient sites than locals. I am opposed to this. There are drawbacks from this different treatment which I will explain to support my views.

 

First of all, this rule will clearly add to the cost and burden of traveling for foreign tourists. For instance, for a four-member-family – parents with a son and daughter – the entrance fee charged will be in total much higher than for a local family, and this will obviously reduce the pleasure of foreign families that travel here. In addition, this discriminatory pricing could make tourists feel upset through unfair treatment and cause them to feel unwelcomed in this country.

 

However, there can also be some beneficial aspects. The higher costs can increase the quality of tourists who visit, and also enhance their experience through improved conditions and better security. The increased profits will also be of benefit to society and local people, and confirm that it is local folk’s privilege to appreciate the heritage that their ancestors left for them.

 

Overall, with the trend of overwhelming globalization, travelling abroad is now very easy and popular. So I believe that international travellers should be treated as equally as possible, and this will create a harmonious feeling for all of us.

 

 

So does this mean that I have to save a lot of money if ever come to China? : )

 

I have tried to use your original wording as much as possible in this correction, unlike others.

 

Keep writing. You will keep improving.

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1

Foreigners should pay more than locals to visit cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

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There are some historical organisations in China who hold the view that foreigners should pay more to visit their ancient sites than locals do. I am opposed to this because I believe it is unfair and can create certain drawbacks. My reasoning for this is as follows.

Firstly, the higher charges will increase the budgets of foreign tourists wishing to visit China. If you take the example of a family of four for instance; their costs will be even higher, and yet local families still pay local prices. Not only does this discriminatory pricing affect the budget of the traveller, it can also make them feel disheartened and unwelcome here.

There is of course some apparent wisdom to the reasoning behind the historical organisations that have made these decisions. The higher costs and resulting increased profits will improve the quality and type of tourists who visit here, while also enhancing their experience through improved conditions such as better facilities and security. The increased profits will also be of benefit to local people, and confirm that it is their privilege to have affordable access to the heritage that their ancestors left for them.

However, with the growing trend of globalization now overwhelming, travelling abroad has become very popular and easy to do. And with this in mind it is my strong view that international travellers should be treated as equally as possible. There will then be more likelihood of a state of harmony existing between all of us.



This time I am rearranging your thoughts. I think it is still close to your intention though. You will also notice the yellow over-shadowing. This will hopefully be a good exercise for you in seeing how there are often words and large phrases that can be completely removed without greatly effecting the meaning of the text. This does not mean that you should always be looking to remove words. It should only illustrate that you can if you want to.

So try it; remove all the words in shadow and see how it reads. It will be fun. 

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1

WRITING of IELTS _Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors or not?

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some places have carried out implemented policies that foreigners should cost pay more to visit the local famous ancient sites than local people. In my view, I am opposite against this opinion.

There are some drawbacks of different treatments to support my statement. First of all, this clause will clearly enhance the cost and burden of traveling of foreign tourists. For instance, if a four-member-family, the parents with their son and daughter, are going to visit there, then the amount of the entrance fee will to be charged is totally much higher than for a local family, which means that the gap of price between each family are is pretty huge and obviously that will reduce the pleasure of this family to travel there. In addition, compared with local people, the discriminatory pricing will make other feel unfairly treated and be hurt form the bottom of their heart, which seems that they are not so welcomed by this country.

However, we can also notice that it can be beneficial in some aspects, such as it can increase the quality of tourists to protect keep the safety of tourists attraction in perfect condition; the government can get more profits to benefit society and local people; to confirm that this is local folk’s privilege is to appreciate those heritage that their ancestor left for them.

All in all, with the trend of the overwhelming globalization, to traveling abroad is very easy and popular. So, I think that to treat international travelers as equal as we can ,which is an idea and harmonious way for all of us.

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