Mumtaz
مدرّس
Home... I thought I knew reality and where I belong, Still every day I soar high and look for you around. What made me feel settled and alive for so long, Now it's gone and again I'm afraid I'm all alone. What is life? Death? What exactly went wrong? Weird how in a minute things turned upside down. In our usual places I dream you are lovingly waiting, But only in mystic poems I dive In your soul and drown. I grew up and I changed from fragile to strong, Still without you I'm not sure I will find home.
٢٢ سبتمبر ٢٠١٤ ٢٣:٤٧
التصحيحات · 4
2

Hello Mumtaz, 

 

This is a beautiful poem that speaks about love and longing, and you should be very proud of yourself. I've made a few small changes to make your poem sound more "native". I hope you like them :)

 

 

Home...

I thought I knew reality and where I belong,
Still, every day I soar up high and look around for you around.

What made me feel settled and alive for so long,
Now It's gone now, and again I'm afraid I'm all alone.

What is life? Death? What exactly went wrong?
It's weird how in a minute things turned upside down.

In our usual places I dream you are lovingly waiting,
But only in mystic poems do I dive In into your soul and drown.

I grew up and I changed from fragile to strong,
Still, without you I'm not so sure I will find home.

٢٣ سبتمبر ٢٠١٤
I'm looking for a correction from a native speaker, thanks in advance:)
٢٣ سبتمبر ٢٠١٤
هل تريد التطور بشكل أسرع؟
انضم لمجتمع التعلّم هذا وجرّب التمرينات المجانية!