The Tim じぁん!!!
It was a bit cloudy today. I discovered a stunning trait within myself - the potential to be a good hypnotist. As dusk settled in and my mom was cooking, my dad approached me with the intention of setting me more practice. However, I managed to persuade him to hear me read a story I had recently learned - Zootopia. I made a cozy spot for him in my bed, ensuring he was cozy and relaxed. I began reading the story with great passion, albeit in a soft voice. I controlled the pace of my reading, and as his breathing grew heavier and louder, I lowered my voice even more, almost trailing off. Eventually, he fell into a deep, peaceful sleep, snoring heavily. The whole thing happened within ten minutes, but bought me hours of free time. It seemed I had unknowingly hypnotized him with my storytelling hypnotism.
٢٧ مارس ٢٠٢٤ ١٠:٥١
التصحيحات · 4
1
It was a bit cloudy today. I discovered a stunning trait within myself - the potential to be a good hypnotist. As dusk settled in and my mom was cooking, my dad approached me with the intention of giving me more to practice. However, I managed to persuade him to hear me read a story I had recently learned - Zootopia. I made a cozy spot for him in my bed, ensuring he was cozy and relaxed. I began reading the story with great passion, albeit in a soft voice. I controlled the pace of my reading, and as his breathing grew heavier and louder, I lowered my voice even more, almost trailing off. Eventually, he fell into a deep, peaceful sleep, snoring heavily. The whole thing happened within ten minutes, but bought me hours of free time. It seemed I had unknowingly hypnotized him with my storytelling.
Good job! Wasn’t exactly sure what you meant by “setting me more practice” so I tried to correct it with what I thought you meant. It definitely reads like a written story, not how someone would speak casually.
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1
It was a bit cloudy today. I discovered a stunning trait within myself - the potential to be a good hypnotist. As dusk settled in and my mom was cooking, my dad approached me with the intention of setting me more practice. However, I managed to persuade him to hear me read a story I had recently learned - Zootopia. I made a cozy spot for him in my bed, ensuring he was cozy and relaxed. I began reading the story with great passion, albeit in a soft voice. I controlled the pace of my reading, and as his breathing grew heavier and louder, I lowered my voice even more, almost trailing off. Eventually, he fell into a deep, peaceful sleep, snoring heavily. The whole thing happened within ten minutes, but bought me hours of free time. It seemed I had unknowingly hypnotized him with my storytelling.
Could be useful!
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