I hate it when...
We add "it" because of a specific annoyance.
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Yes, it sounds correct and natural! Alternatively, you could say:
"I hate it when someone takes my personal things without asking."
Both versions work well depending on your style preference.
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This is fine, It can also be written as;
I dislike when someone uses my personal things without taking permission.
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Sounds good. You can shorten this to, “I hate when someone takes my things without asking.”