IELTS writing task 2. Corrections are appreciated. I wrote this in wordpad, so no spellcheck was done by the program. I set a 40 min limitation and didn't use any dictionaries. Some people think that the only way to judge someone’s success in business is by the amount of money they make. Is this a true indicator of the success of a business and in what other ways could success in a business be measured? ------------ A popular opinion states that an assessment of whether a business is successful should be made based on how profitable it is. In my opinion, it is certainly one of the catalysts of success, however, it is not the only one. An evaluation of such a vague matter might also be done by measuring the impact on the industry. First of all, the profit can neither be considered a true indicator of success nor be the only one. A leopard can't chage its spots - and a human being always aspires to find the ultimate catalyst of every matter in question. If a person were to look at the list of the wealthiest people on the planet, he would find that almost all of them made their money by effectively changing the game. Thus, it could be argued that not only does is the money not the first factor of success, but it also might be just a subproduct. Second of all, an influence on the industry might even be a better indication. For example, Jeff Bezos, while being the richest man on the face of Earth, will certainly be remembered for his revolutionary approach to internet shopping. Mark Zuckerberg has certainly made a lot of money, but a quantifiable factor of his success is a breaktrough in the communication field. They definetely killed two birds with one stone - made a fortune on a revolutionary product and engraved their names in the fabric of history. To conclude, the amount of money made surely does indicate an accomplishment in a particular field of business. Having said that, I think that one cannot leave an answer to how impactful a person's work is out of consideration. ----------- Having finished the essay, I think that my first paragraph was a huge miss as it basically mirrors the second one. Therefore, TR would not be high. What do you think?