Susan had been burdened by thE unpleasant experience with thE newcomer. (Not sure of the context here but "this" refers to something that you have mentioned already. If you haven't, then it's better to put "the") She wanted a change of pace and decided to visit her friend Penny, who lived in the same small town. She drank a carton of milk, took her belongings and drove away. Penny was a little bizarre but Susan felt comfortable when she was with HER. (you don't need to repeat the names all the time, the text will seem heavier to read) "Why did you go to a stranger's house?" Penny asked. "I don't know. Maybe it was my curiosity." (if this is Pam speaking, it needs to go into another line) "Just forget it. Look at what I bought." (I assume this is Penny speaking, jump line again) But Susan was not in the mood. Penny didn't even ask if this new resident WAS (conditional) handsome or not and she BEHAVED so casually (to take something in tends to refer to hard news. Meeting a stranger, even if the experience is unusual, is not something difficult to process) that Susan felt the betrayal of her friendship with Penny. The huge headache she had that SLEEPLESS NIGHT (more precise to say here) made her want to blow her brains out. She couldn't help thinking about this mysterious man's strange eyes. Are there humans in the world with purple eyes? Hello! Interesting text! I hope the correction helps. There used to be a tool to correct texts, but I couldn't find it, so I put alternative words in capital letters. Hope it helps!