I've never been this frustating when learning foreign languages. I take a foreign language study in university. I feel like I'm too stressful and cannot enjoy the process of learning it. I make mistakes, often, but my teachers will just point me out like everything must be beyond the rules. "You're not supposed to make this mistake. Use the rules/grammars, remember their cultures, you have to fit in yourself to them, we cannot just put things from our habits or cultures when interacting to them."

Do I need to do it? Really? Even if I lived not in the country of the language spoken? How important is absolutely correct grammars if a person I talk to can understand mostly my topics? I hate it when my teachers use the mistakes I made to measure my ability. Even the native speakers can understand as if we are foreigners so can make mistakes anytime.

This is not a rant because the language that I learn. I love languages, so that's why I am here now. It's not like this is my first time learning foreign languages. I have learnt English, also having a bit knowledges on some languages such as Deutsch, Korean and Turkish languages. Those are very interesting, IMO. I learnt them either self-taught and for school curriculums purpose. Sometimes when I had a chance to learn more foreign language 'so why not I learn it too?' eventhough just having a bit knowledges on it. I don't know, is it just me who don't suit the style of learning languages by the formal course, or am I just too sensitive by my teacher?

It's not bad when having a teacher to help me, but for formal course like this, to learn such an interesting language of my thought since the beginning just gets me really down. Besides, my teacher always push the students to follow cultures, habits, etc, from the people of the language I learn. Isn't it too boring when we cannot explore ourselves more when learning languages? Do I really have to be someone else when learning a foreign language? Can I be myself with my culture that maybe contradicts to the people/cultures of language I learn? I know it may be a sensitive topic for some people. I've never been too stressful when I learn foreign languages. Can I really develop myself if everything must be beyond the rules? (P.S. I just cried when I wrote this, so you know how I'm feeling rn).