i don;t know what am i thinking we have been a long time no see, he is a real good people , seems everthing is good,i am normal people, normal and normal people, he can use handsome, maybe i am ugly, he is rich, i am poor, he is good at learning, i am bad, he has a good job, i am not, but the badest things is i love him, i don't know why god let him come to my life, i remember he said he love me, i don;t know what that means, i can not accept that, i am not good enough , he is so much better than me, i can not get that high for him, so i just say you kidding me. he said not, but i still say ,haha kindding,i tell myself, no, thats impossible, to much different, i just can love him in my deep heart, but how to stop. i really dont know, yestaday, i got a night mare, i am weak up in 3am , and can not sleep anymore, i think i am too too lonely, if i can choice, i really want to he never come to my life, then i needn't feel heartbreak everyday,when i miss him. i feel too pain, but he still there, 4moths before, i start escape, never online, he sometimes talk to me, i never give an answer, i don;t know why, i am not a god actess, maybe someday, he find i love him. thats embrass, so just not talk with each other, but , last night , the nightmare i start cry, why, why, so many difference, so i decided, if he is online i will talk with him , but unfoutealy, he is not, then i try everthing to make myself sleep too, about 2 hours later, i am succeed, but i forget offline, and i am weak up in 9 am , and i find he give me a message , in that time i don't know how to say, i am cry too, haha , i don't know that feeling, so i talk with him, but seems he has something to do, and not reply, and just now, i give him a message too, and no reply, hhee ,really dont know what i am thinking about, i hope talk with him. and i am afriead, normal and unnormal, if he is normal too, maybe we can getting together,but he is not, i don't know the future, maybe some normal people come to my life, and i love the normal one, and the normal people loves me ,then we get married, but now, the normal people not come to my lfie, and i don't know where to find him. i just hope i can forget the unnormal one, and the normal one can fast come to my life, then i won't feel so sad, god , you tell me , what should i do, i really really feel sad, i can not escape, and dont know, maybe things getting better, hope tomorrow, everything changed.