Ask For Corrections on IELTS Writing Task 2 - Academic

Some sports are extremely dangerous, but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

It cannot be denied that nowadays, there is an increase in the number of risky sports thanks to the rising number of players in this field. Some people have concerns about the reasons why these players take part in dangerous sports. In this essay, incentives for involvement in adventurous sports will be discussed figured out and suggestions for safety are noticed noted.

In the first place First, the most common cause in this case is the adventurous feeling sensation people feel when people they take part in thrilling sports. After a harding working week with a number of mixed emotions because of from work or study, it is concerned considered to be the best way for human beings to release stress and fatigue.* tiredness. Take paragliding for an example; you are flying high in the blue sky where no one is going to pay attention on to you, so that and you could can do whatever you want without being afraid of interruptions from someone else. **The second reason that is worth mentioning is probably because Some individuals want to prove themselves to be unique; In others words, they want to be different. from the others.

Due to the high danger for those who play thrilling sports, people should be equipped with adequate training before they are allowed to take part in dangerous activities. Scuba-diving suppliers, for instance, have been said to give divers a stated specific number of days of to learning and practice ing prior to real diving. In addition to this, facilities in sports centers are simultaneously also*** required to comply with international standards in order to ensure players's safety. However, despite rising precautions in death or injury of sports players, there are still a considerable incidences of deadly circumstances reported every year.

In a nutshell, there are reasonable motivations explaining why some people love participating in dangerous sports. Besides being challenging, and , these activities deserve peoples' interest. as long as Standards in facilities of these sports facilities and in training courses are need to be imposed to both parties. (of catering and taking services.)< I don't understand what you are trying to say here.

* I think "fatigue" is a better word to use, but "tiredness" is acceptable.

**If you are going to talk about a second reason, you should start a new paragraph.

*** "Simultaneously" is correct, but "also" has the same meaning. I think it is an easier word to use and sounds more natural.