If I am talking to her, just by her name, If I am talking to someone else, I will call her "my wife". If I am talking to my children, I will call her "mum". In all cases, oral and written is the same. Examples. You kids had better clean up before mum sees this mess !! I went out with my wife last night for dinner (to a colleague)

Correction: "What do you call your wife or husband?" In English, people usually refer to their spouses by their first names. If someone does not know that my wife is named Jen, then I will talk about her as simply "my wife". When addressing my wife directly, I use pet names as many English speakers do. Pet names are meant to be silly and intimate for a couple. There are countless standard pet names, and you can make up your own pet names for your spouse. Examples of pet names: sweetie, honey, baby, babe, darling, peach, pudding, dumpling, lovely, love, gorgeous, good-looking, etc. Never refer to your wife or husband with a pet name in a conversation with someone else. Haha!

Thank you, sir.So I have to use"what do you call your spouse" or "how do you refer to your spouse".

As has been pointed out, ''How do you call your wife of husband"' is Chinglish, Chinese grammar. "What do you call your spouse?" means what name do you use when you talk to them. ''How do you refer to your spouse?'' means what name do you use when you talk about them to others.