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摩羯菇凉
i need some help
this is a composition about IELTS test,i hope someone can help me to find out some mistakes(grammar mistakes).Thank you very much.
This chart is displaying the dramatic changes in average house prices between 5 cities in 5 different countries respectively during 12 years compare with 1989's.
From 1990 to 1995,the decline of the average house prices of London and Tokyo are much more than New York,where decreased 5% since 1989.The marketing report from the information of Madrid and Frankfurt,at the meanwhile,shows an opposite situation which increased approximate 1.5% to 2% in five years.
As to immediate 7 years,from 1996 to 2002,the average house prices in most of cities we mentioned above achieved a big jump,in addition to Tokyo.Particularly,the percentage of rising of London increased by 20% compare with the level of last six years,skyrocket to 12% compare with 1989's,as well as,New York and Madrid get a soaring incremental about half of London's achievement.In contrast,Tokyo did not get an obvious improve where the prices still kept in-5% around.
Over all,the most obvious change in the average of house prices in 5 main cities in different countries between first 6 years since 1990 and next years until 2002 compare with 1989's,is trend is from coder to warmer.The main of presentation cities in USA,Spain,Germany and UK all stepped a big pace,which means they gradually get rid of negative growth.The only special city is in Japan,Tokyo,where the house prices is pretty much more stable than others.
9 de dic. de 2012 3:02
Respuestas · 3
2
It would be better to do this as a notebook entry as it is much easier to write a corrected version. And also the formatting of relevant comments is a lot better.
There does appear to be some incorrect grammar and choice of words.
9 de diciembre de 2012
1
Plz post this in notebook entry, there it would be easy to correction with edit and format tools.
9 de diciembre de 2012
Hello,
Overall, I'm pretty sure I understand what you are trying to say, but there are several things you could work on. Some big ones are:
-check the the verb tense matches the time frame you are talking about. Since your dates talk about the past, you could write most of the essay in past tense
-articles (a and the): you found a lot of them, but there are several more that you missed (such as 'the last six years')
-word choice and phrase choice:I think that by main city, you mean 'capital city', and we just say 'meanwhile,' not 'at the meanwhile'
-prepositions: sometimes you misuse prepositions (of, for, from, at, etc). "at the meanwhile" would be an example.
But like Michael said, it's very hard to give you comments in this form...
9 de diciembre de 2012
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摩羯菇凉
Competencias lingüísticas
Chino (mandarín), Chino (cantonés), Chino (otro), Inglés, Francés
Idioma de aprendizaje
Inglés
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