钱到账了吗？/请问钱到账了吗？ The second one is more polite.

您收到来款了吗？/ 你收到钱了吗？ the first is more formal, but the latter one is the most understandable. i don't know the background of this sentence, so may be the translation is not perfect i hope it can help you

“收到付款了吗”