I posted a piece of writing yesterday, and there was some controversy due to the lack of smoothness in the sentences. Could you please review it again for me?
When I was young, I couldn't afford to go to college. I decided to attend college while working, and I've been planning this for a while. I work during the day, so online classes from the Credit Bank System of the University are a perfect fit for my schedule. I can finally pursue my education while balancing my job.
1) When I was young, I couldn't afford to go to college.
2) I worked instead of attending college.
3) I decided to study and work at the same time. I've been thinking about this decision for a long time.
4) Therefore, starting today, I will be taking online courses through the credit bank system to earn credits and obtain a degree in Korea.
In Korea, the credit bank system allows you to earn credits and obtain a bachelor's degree.