The "I Want You To Think I'm Awesome" Syndrome I want you to think I’m great. I do. I admit it. Yes, you. You, sitting there in your chair or on the bus or wherever you happen to be reading this right now... Also my friends, my family, the guy I’m dating, people I meet at parties and will never see again, people I pass on the street. I want all of you to think I’m funny, nice, smart, and super hot. Or at least reasonably cute, when I’m standing under just the right lightbulb wattage and wearing makeup... Ha ha. I JUST WANT YOU TO THINK I’M AMAZING. IS THAT SO WRONG? Of course not! The reality is that we all want that. We all want people to like us. Everything we ever do – get interesting jobs, spend money, watch TV, drink shots – is because we want to feel a certain way. Which is great... It’s fun to feel accomplished and loved. But by doing this we give these things – our friends, our bank accounts, a bottle of alcohol – the power to decide how we feel. I am way too controlling to be down with that. But trying to separate yourself from the good opinion of others is tricky. Biology is against us. We want to be accepted by the herd, because that means we won’t get left on a snowy hillside while everyone else finds a nice warm cave to barbecue a mammoth and admire each other’s furry togas. This means I depend on you to make me feel good. Do you really want that responsibility? I’m guessing not. You should have other stuff to do. :) So I’m learning not to care what you think. Not because I don’t like you – I do. I like you a lot. You’re smart and fun and quite fetching, even when you forget to wash your hair. I’m just learning not to care because I would like to choose for myself how I feel at any given moment. Without letting someone who says something unkind or lashes out because they’re hurt make the slightest bit of difference in my day or my mood. Life is too short. (In a just world, this means I also get a pass when I lash out or accidentally say something stupid/unkind/worthy of snowy hillside banishment while everyone else picks sabertooth tiger out of their teeth.) It’s not about ignoring what you think; it’s about getting to a point where I can actually hear what you think. Because it’s hard to really connect with people when all the noise in your brain is screaming so loudly that you have no idea what they’re really saying. And I bet what you’re saying is something I want to hear.