When there is a will,there is a way- Usually in English we express this as "Where there is a will, there is a way."

Ok!Now.Let me share a funny story with you. Once there was a snail and one day, he asked his mother:,(a comma needs to be here) “Mommy,why should we bear this hard and heavy shell when we were born from the time of our birth?” The snail mother answered, “Because our bodies do not have the support of bones. We can only crawl, but crawl slowly. So we need the shell to protect us.” The little snail said, “But sister carpenterworm doesn’t have bones and she can not climb fast. Why does she not she doesn’t need to carry this hard and heavy shell?”Snail mother answered,“Because she will become a butterfly, the sky will protect her.”The snail was then wondered,“But brother earthworm doesn’t have bones and can not climb fast as well ;also, he will not become a butterfly. Why he doesn’t he need to carry this hard and heavy shell?” Snail mother said: answered,“Because the earthworm belongs to the land,the earth will protect him.”The little snail suddenly cried ,he said:“We are so poor,the sky ignores us, and the earth abandons us as well!” Snail mother smiled and said:“That’s why we have the shell!We do not depend on the sky or earth,we rely upon ourselves.”
Let me tell you another story, it is a true story.One of my friends,Ben,was is a burn survivor. Yes,he had survived, but actually,he was died in a way, he is dead. I mean He hads to threw thrown himself into a deep and painful despair. Every day, he just sat sits beside the window, looking and looks at the sky without saying a word.The most terrible thing was he rejected is that he refuses any medication!I personally know that working through the rough times is not easy, but you as know ,negative emotions can have a negative effects. I really hope that he can stand up and fight it back as a real man!
In my opinion, your our destiny is up to depends upon your our attitude towards life and the future. The greatest power that we possesses for succeeding in life is our understanding that life gives you us a fresh start at any moment that you we choose to begin again. No matter what has happened in your our life lives, and how strongly it may has have affected you us, you we must always have to remember that nothing that stood stands in your our way would remain there for long and that it cannot stop us for long.When things change in your our life lives,we hope that all of the changes they are for the better. Depending on the our situation as humans, we cannot always realize everthing will turn out for the good best. But do not worry, with positive thoughts and help from others, it(sorrow/pain)will not remain there forever. That is to say,nothing is impossible with a willing heart. God helps those who help themselves.

This is a wonderful essay! I hope I didn't make any mistakes in correcting it. In the last paragraph I changed the the pronoun from your to our, so that it will agree with the pronoun we which is used later on in the essay. I pray that Ben fully recovers his health.