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Phill
My Virgin English Peotry I was unable to sleep last night. My dream had lost and I wanna why. Through the window I saw the dim moonlight. But it's only you what in my mind. I cannot also take a nap this noon. I wish you are coming soon. You are my most valuable fortune. Let me wait for for you till any when.
2013年5月23日 06:57
訂正 · 5

My Virgin English Peotry

I was unable to sleep last night.
My dream had lost and I wanna why. ("I didn't dream at all, and I can't seem to figure out why"...?
Through the window, I saw the dim moonlight.
But it's only you what inare on my mind.

I cannot also wasn't able to take a nap this noon.
I wish you are coming soon.
You are my most valuable fortune.
Let me wait for for you till any when. ("I'll be waiting for you"...?)

 

Hi Phill! 你写得很棒啊! I just made a few corrections, and there were 2 sentences where I wasn't able to figure out the meaning, so I gave a suggestion that may work in the context.  Hope this helps!

2013年5月23日

My Virgin First English Peotry Poetry Poem


I was unable to sleep last night.
My dream had was lost and I wanna want to know why.
Through the window I saw the dim moonlight, 
But it's only you what I have in my mind.

I cannot also take a nap this afternoon too.
I wish you are coming here soon.
You -  are my most valuable fortune.
Let Allow me to wait for for you till any when.

2013年5月23日
もっと早く上達したいですか?
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