訂正 · 6
About Writing
Finally,I have made my essay like an essay. But the pity is that the essay shape has formed while I (i) have lost the shape as a human being. After two nights struggling with the essay, I found myself spiritless. Everything on my face was (is) dry. My dorm mate looked at me one day and told me/said to me "hmm~ your eyes are smaller now." What ! I mean my eyes were (have been) already small enough, and now, smaller? Some foreigners say (said that) they always think (thought the) Chinese people are (were) sleeping even when we are walking, because our eyes are so small that it is hard to tell whether they are open or closed. That word should be "sleepwalking".
I found a guy in italki who usually writes (wrote) some notebooks in informal language to express his feeling or describe (described) something that happened to him. It is obvious from the comments that this (these) style is favoured/favored by many Chinese, including me. He is like a happy elf to bring joy with his chinese notebooks. The most impressive notebook is about how he described the classic chinese novel "A Dream of Red Mansion". It seems that the book is translated so as to be much more understandable to foreigners, and more directly, more modern. The first time I read this book was when I was about 10 years old. At that time, the book was (is) written for (to) children, with illustrations. It helped to know briefly what the story was about and the main characters. When I grew older, (in the year) when I was 16,I felt that it was an obligation to read the four classic Chinese novels as a Chinese, instead of out of interest. The reading was somehow tiring because there were so many Chinese classical words and phrases which were quite hard to understand. But after reading, it was like a journey to a place, there were people with different fates and characteristics and different talents. The book implied a lot. So sometimes you need to develop your imagination (is needed to develop) to understand better. Of the four famous novels, the one I (i) felt the most reluctant to read was "All man are brothers", which is "水浒传"in Chinese. (Because) I knew a little about the fiction from the television version when I was very young. At first the 108 characters are described from different aspects, they are sometimes brave for their brothers, they are sometimes described as scamps. It is encouraging and fun and united at first, but the ending is too brutal. I still can't read that session, that would make me sign a lot for certain and I can't relieve for a long time.
I rarely read fiction novels now but practical short passages instead O(∩_∩)O~
Hello, Fannier. Your use of words is good. I have suggested just a few amendments. The title we would usually write in initial capitals. You have several instances where you have used 'i' but in English it is always written with a capital 'I', if on it's own. Human being would be two separate words. You were writing in the past tense - 'found' 'dorm mate looked' 'told me' but you changed into present tense with 'my face is dry' - should be 'was dry'. Similarly with eyes - 'were' already. Some foreigners say.... these are ongoing observations so you should use 'think' and 'are'. With 'when I was 16' we would not say in the year as well, as this would be repetitive. A bit like saying I am going to the shop to do some shopping. With any names of places and people we write in initial capitals, so Chinese should always have a capital C. You mention people which is the plural of person so you need to say fates and talents (as more than one). I was unsure of your phrases 'sign a lot for certain' and 'can't relieve' so I haven't commented on these. Overall, a good article and very interesting to read.
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