My.
The U.S. Dollar History Introduction As most countries have their foreign-exchange reserves, Japan has its own foreign reserve for facing unprofitable market fluctuation. After coming off the gold standard in 1971, each country's foreign-exchange reserve is increasing every year. According to Aridas and Pasquali (2013, para1), China ($3.3 trillion in 2011) is the first country having its own foreign reserve, followed by Japan ($1.3 trillion in 2011), and most countries, including China and Japan, hold mostly the United States Dollars (para.2). The United States dollar is now one of key currencies. As the dollar shows its force, the United States is a powerful country. Meanwhile, the country had the history as a colony over in the late 16 th. Suffering from colonists, the U.S. declared independence in 1776, and it build up as an advanced country. I am going show how the money of the U.S. was created and how the government worked it out in this essay. I hope it makes sense.
2015年4月18日 23:18
訂正 · 6
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The History of the U.S. Dollar History

Introduction
 have their foreign-exchange reserves, Japan, As like most countries, has its own foreign money reserve for facing coping with (or managing) unprofitable market fluctuations. After coming off the gold standard in 1971 (I don't see this clause connecting well with the rest of the sentence), eEach country's foreign-exchange reserve is increasing every year. According to Aridas and Pasquali (2013, para1), China is the first country having its own the largest foreign reserve ($3.3 trillion in 2011), followed by Japan ($1.3 trillion in 2011). , and mMany countries, including China and Japan, hold mostly the United States Ddollars (para.2). The United States dollar is now one of the world's key currencies. (I'd make a new paragraph here) Do you mean something like The dollar is a strong currency just as the United States is a powerful country.?) As the dollar shows its force, the United States is a powerful country. Meanwhile, The country had the a history as a colony beginning over in the late 16 th century. Suffering from colonial rule colonists, the U.S. declared independence in 1776, and it buildt up as an advanced country. I am going show will show how the money of the U.S. was created and how the US government worked it out (don't understand this phrase: how the government was involved in its creation?). in this essay.

I hope this helps. I may not have understood the meaning well enough to make corrections!

I hope it makes sense.

2015年4月19日
Should I delete "I am going to... in this essay"? I was going to put the sentence as a topic sentence, though. Thank you. I am working on this introduction again!
2015年4月18日
Also, whenever you include citations within a text excerpt regardless of length I would recommend including the works cited.
2015年4月18日
The act of writing an essay implies that you wish to present something to an audience. Telling us is redundantcy.
2015年4月18日
It's not necessary to tell the reader' "what you intend to show them in the essay" Look up the word Totalogy
2015年4月18日
もっと早く上達したいですか?
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