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Michelle
My Grandmother My grandma is 80 years old. But she is very active. She is loving and good. Also she is very kind. I can remind my child hood because of my grandmother. She loved me and gave lot of advices. Also she made me happy by telling stories and singing poems. I still love and respect her. I always try to be with her. There aren't anyone for sharing her happiness and sadness. I always try to make her happy as she did me. Sometimes I cracked jokes and sing songs. I help her too in religious activities. Every evening I pick flowers to her. She likes to read religious books.Now she reads books with very difficulty. Because her eye sight is becoming poor. She always uses spectacles.
2017年7月17日 23:38
訂正 · 6
1

My Grandmother

My grandma is 80 years old, but she is very active. She is loving, good and kind person. Also she is very kind. I can remember my childhood because of my grandmother. She loved me and gave lot of (1) advice. Also She also made me happy by telling me stories and singing poems. I still love and respect her (2) and I always try to be with her. There aren't isn't anyone around to share for sharing her happiness and sadness. I always try to make her happy just as she did for me.(3)  Sometimes, I cracked jokes and sing songs to her. I help her too in religious activities.
Every evening, I pick flowers to for her. She likes to read religious books, though  she now reads books them with very great difficulty,  as her eyesight is becoming poor. She always uses spectacles.

Hi Michelle,

You have written a beautiful piece of writing to describe the mutual love between your grandma and you. I have made a few amendments for you and hope I have preserved your original meaning. 

(1) "advice" is an uncountable noun. Though we can add a unit of measure (eg two pieces of advice), "advice" remains uncountable

(2) I notice that some sentences can be joined as the meanings of these sentences have details that reinforce the mutual love 

Example:

 "I still love and respect her. I always try to be with her."

Both sentences provide details of how you treat your grandmother. They can be joined using a conjunction "and". 

Using conjunctions appropriately improves the coherence of a text.

(3) When we start a sentence with an adverb of frequency, we separate it from the rest of the sentence with a comma. 

Hope this helps.
Cheers, 
Lance

2017年7月18日
1

My Grandmother

My grandma is 80 years old. But she is very active. She is loving and good. Also she is very kind. I can remember my childhood because of my grandmother. She loved me and gave lot of advice. Also she made me happy by telling stories and singing poems. I still love and respect her. I always try to be with her. She doesn't have anyone to share her happiness and sadness. I always try to make her happy as she did me. Sometimes I crack jokes and sing songs. I help her too in religious activities.
Every evening I pick flowers for her. She likes to read religious books. Now she reads books with great difficulty, because her eyesight is becoming poor. She always uses glasses [1].

[1] Most people I know would use the word "glasses" "Spectacles" is a bit old-fashioned.


2017年7月17日
I missing my grandmother too, though she passed away for several years, but her lovely smile,I will treasure in my mind forever.
2017年7月18日

My Grandmother

My grandma is 80 years old. But she is very active. She is loving and good. Also she is very kind. I can remind my child hood t because of my grandmother. She loved me and gave me a lot of advices. Also she made me happy by telling stories and singing poems. I still love and respect her. I always try to be with her. There aren't anyone for  to share her happiness and sadness with her. I always try to make her happy as she did to me. Sometimes I cracked jokes and sang songs. I help her too in religious activities too.
Every evening I pick flowers to her. She likes to read religious books.Now she reads books with very difficultly. Because her eye sight is becoming poor. She always uses spectacles.
2017年7月17日
もっと早く上達したいですか?
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