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Julia
Why is the population of sea otters declining?
Hi, this is a TOEFL exam practice. Please let me know if you see some mistakes, thank you!
The sea otter is a small mammal that usually lives along the west coast of the American continent from Alaska to California. It represents an important part of the west coast's ecosystem.
However, a few years ago, the population of otters began to drop.
The lecturer doesn't agree with the text. In her opinion, the main cause of the disparition of sea otters is not pollution, it's predators attacks.
Her first argument is that there were no discovering of dead sea otters washed up on shores. This means that the cadavers are disappear immediately, which would be the case if the otter were eaten by a predator.
Her second argument highlights the fact that orcas are the main predators of not only sea otters, but also sea lions and seals. Because the humans along the coast hunt whales, the orcas had to limit their diet to these three types of mammals. This contradict the argument in the text that states that the drop of population of these three species is the consequence of oil rigs and chemical pollutions.
Finally, the lecturer doesn't believe that the uneven concentrations of chemicals in the ocean is the reason that some locations have less otters than others. She thinks that there are more otters in shallow and rocky waters, where the orcas don't have access.
2019年4月1日 05:05
訂正 · 2
2
Hi, this is a TOEFL exam practice. Please let me know if you see some mistakes, thank you!
The sea otter is a small mammal that usually lives along the west coast of the American continent from Alaska to California. It represents an important part of the west coast's ecosystem.
However, a few years ago, the population of otters began to drop.
The lecturer doesn't agree with the text. In her opinion, the main cause of the <strike>disparition</strike> disappearance of sea otters is not pollution, it's predators attacks.
Her first argument/point is that <strike>there were no discovering of dead sea otters washed up on shores</strike>/there were no dead sea otters discovered/found washed up on shore (syntax). This means that the cadavers / bodies are disappearing immediately, which would be the case if the/an otter were eaten by a predator/ which supports the theory/lends credence to the theory that the disappearance of sea otters is due to predation.
Her second argument highlights the fact that orcas are the main predators of not only sea otters, but also sea lions and seals. <strike>Because the humans along the coast hunt whales</strike> Because humans hunt whales along the coast (syntax), the orcas had to/were forced to limit their diet to these three types of mammals (where previously they would hunt whales?). This contradicts the argument in the text that states that the drop <strike>of</strike> in population of these three species is the consequence of oil rigs and chemical pollutions. (I don't think it contradicts the argument, I think it is a reason in addition to the main argument, or possibly an alternative argument).
Finally, the lecturer doesn't believe that the uneven concentrations of chemicals in the ocean is the reason that some locations have less otters than others. She thinks that there are more otters in shallow and rocky waters, as this is where the orcas don't have access/cannot hunt them.
Good work. There were 2 issues relating to syntax (words in the incorrect order). However most of my edits are suggestions (ie the '/' ) that will make your writing sound more fluent.
The sea otter is a small mammal that usually lives along the west coast of the American continent from Alaska to California. It represents an important part of the west coast's ecosystem.
However, a few years ago, the population of otters began to drop.
The lecturer doesn't agree with the text. In her opinion, the main cause of the <strike>disparition</strike> disappearance of sea otters is not pollution, it's predators attacks.
Her first argument/point is that <strike>there were no discovering of dead sea otters washed up on shores</strike>/there were no dead sea otters discovered/found washed up on shore (syntax). This means that the cadavers / bodies are disappearing immediately, which would be the case if the/an otter were eaten by a predator/ which supports the theory/lends credence to the theory that the disappearance of sea otters is due to predation.
Her second argument highlights the fact that orcas are the main predators of not only sea otters, but also sea lions and seals. <strike>Because the humans along the coast hunt whales</strike> Because humans hunt whales along the coast (syntax), the orcas had to/were forced to limit their diet to these three types of mammals (where previously they would hunt whales?). This contradicts the argument in the text that states that the drop <strike>of</strike> in population of these three species is the consequence of oil rigs and chemical pollutions. (I don't think it contradicts the argument, I think it is a reason in addition to the main argument, or possibly an alternative argument).
Finally, the lecturer doesn't believe that the uneven concentrations of chemicals in the ocean is the reason that some locations have less otters than others. She thinks that there are more otters in shallow and rocky waters, as this is where the orcas don't have access/cannot hunt them.
Good work. There were 2 issues relating to syntax (words in the incorrect order). However most of my edits are suggestions (ie the '/' ) that will make your writing sound more fluent.
2019年4月1日
もっと早く上達したいですか？
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Julia
語学スキル
中国語 (普通話), 英語, フランス語, スペイン語
言語学習
中国語 (普通話), 英語
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