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This is for my vlog #3. Please correct any error. Thanks
Hello italki people, anyone can correct my english here. By the way, this is conversational and i will upload this in youtube.
"It's march 00 (day). Today I'm going to share my experience in distributing the fundraiser card in cagayan de oro city. It was fun and also discouraging. Some people rejected my card, some of them just accepted the card and they don't care the message inside the card. I brought 60 cards to distribute and there are 4 more lefts here. In 56 cards I distributed, I think there were only 2 persons visited my online fundraiser and shared my fundraising campaign on facebook. For you, who had watch my fundraising update in youtube you can watch my video on my fundraising experience in cagayan de oro city. I posted the link below.
It was unsuccessful for my fundraising campaign. However, my mother had a successful of removing a stint to her kidney in Cagayan de Oro City.
At least, I tried and it was also a part of my history in achieving my goals. To be honest, I sometimes feel bad that there are only very few friends who had cared my fundraising campaign when i posted in facebook. Or maybe, online fundraiser or crowdfunding is not popular in our country.
Last friday, I received a new donation a friend from Texas. And she also claimed a digital painting. I am very glad, surprised and thankful for her very kind donation.
I'm going to end this video now. I will update you in my next video. And I hope I will meet my goal. I will end my fundraiser when I meet my goal of $xxxx but I will need $xxxx before june for my Form I-20.
So bye guys!"
That's it
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For my vlog #3: Please correct any error here. :)
Hello guys, anyone can correct my english here. By the way, this is conversational and i will upload this in youtube.
"It's march 00 (day). Today I'm going to share my experience in distributing the fundraiser card in cagayan de oro city. It was fun and also discouraging. Some people rejected my card, some of them just accepted the card and they don't care the message inside the card. I brought 60 cards to distribute and there are 4 more lefts here. In 56 cards I distributed, I think there were only 2 persons visited my online fundraiser and shared my fundraising campaign on facebook. For you, who had watch my fundraising update in youtube you can watch my video on my fundraising experience in cagayan de oro city. I posted the link below.
It was unsuccessful for my fundraising campaign. However, my mother had a successful of removing a stint to her kidney in Cagayan de Oro City.
continue.....At least, I tried and it was also a part of my history in achieving my goals. To be honest, I sometimes feel bad that there are only very few friends who had cared my fundraising campaign when i posted in facebook. Or maybe, online fundraiser or crowdfunding is not popular in our country.
Last friday, I received a new donation a friend from Texas. And she also claimed a digital painting. I am very glad, surprised and thankful for her very kind donation.
I'm going to end this video now. I will update you in my next video. And I hope I will meet my goal. I will end my fundraiser when I meet my goal of $xxxx but I will need $xxxx before june for my Form I-20.
So bye guys!"
That's it
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Anyone can make this more understandable and polite. Please correct my grammar also.
I will post this to my facebook timeline..
"Friends, relatives and facebook contacts, I wonder if you would mind helping me to raise funds for my education by contributing a $1 (45pesos) to $2 (90pesos) to each one of you. My classes start in AUGUST 2016. It is 5 months away, but I am running out of time. I badly need the money before "JUNE" because there's a certain annual financial requirement for the "FORM I-20", a document to process F1 student visa.
Friends, I am reaching out to ask a LITTLE contribution for my expenses in education in NYC. Even if you choose to donate a dollar or $2 in each one of you. It can still meet my goal.
There are 3 ways to help:
1. Donate (every little contribution counts)
Or 2. Claim or purchase the digital painting (I lowered the price lately)
Or 3. Share my online fundraiser on facebook
I believe there's still a kind-hearted person in the world. Thank you so much!"Please also correct my grammar here
"Note:
I will end my fundraiser until I meet the goal 0Z,000 but I need this 0X,000 before JUNE for the Form I-20. (Include scholarships)"
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PART #1 I am not a native speaker. Anyone could correct if there's an error on this speech?
I made a script for my video blog because it takes time for me to think and talk directly in the video.
"Today is the day that we're going to Cagayan de Oro city. My mother has scheduled to visit her doctor this week and that is the main reason why we're going to the city. Like I said in my first video, I plan to use this opportunity for my campaign by handing this fundraiser card to the people around the city.
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We're now at the bus station and waiting for the next bus for Iligan City. So once we arrive in Iligan City, we will transfer another bus for Cagayan de Oro City."
(CONTINUE IN PART 2).......PART #1 I am not a native speaker. Anyone could correct if there's an error on this speech?
We've just arrived in a long travel.
So tomorrow, after mom's appointment, I will be distributing this cards in the mall. Hope this plan will work successfully...
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It's 0:00 o'clock in the afternoon, I'm here at the exit door of the mall and trying to fight my shyness. I wish I have the guts to distribute the cards and I'm hoping they will read the message and support my fundraising campaign. Wish me luck!!
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And guys, I finally distributed the cards. I really hope they can help by spreading the word and I wish I can have a new donor!
.. I'm going to end this video now, and I will make another video to update you guys! Thanks for watching and supporting! Bye!"
Thank you for correcting guys. :) TC
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PART 2: Anyone could make this more understandable or sounds like a native speaker (conversational)?
Part 2:
By the way, we are going to the city on march 15, Tuesday. I will use that opportunity for my fundraising campaign. I am planning to give away my fundraiser card to the people around the mall or cafes. I really hope this plan will be successful. By spreading my fundraiser, I hope I can able receive donations from awesome donors.
So, I will make this video short. I will just update you guys once I arrive from the city. And if you have nice suggestions and ideas there, please comment below. I really appreciate it. Wish me luck on my fundraiser. Thank you and bye!"
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PART 1: Anyone could make this more understandable or sounds like a native speaker (conversational)?
PART 1:
"Hi there, I'm tyrone. I created this video to ask for your suggestions.. or any ideas that could help my online fundraiser works well.
I'm fundraising for my education in New York this coming august 2016. And I started to create this on 20th of february. I was thought it was very easy to run the campaign, so I am confident running it within 55 days. Luckily, generosity.com (my fundraising platform) allows everyone to end the fundraiser anytime.
So I posted it in my facebook timeline, facebook groups.. I also posted it in twitter 5x a week..and other social media websites. I also asked my friends to help me spreading it on social media. However, it is not easy to ask anyone to share it their facebooks. I was lucky enough I got 550 shares on fb and got one awesome donor.
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is my grammar incorrect? please check :)
"This page is an affiliate marketer and promoting products or items majority from Amazon. Products like books, bags, electronics/computers,etc."
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"how are things where you are"? is it the same to "how are you"?
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What do you mean by " I'd be where he is, gone!" ?
and "I run a string of cat houses in the valley" ? This sentence I got it from Monologue titled the Glass Menagerie Tom Wingfield
http://www.ace-your-audition.com/support-files/tom-wingfield.pdf
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what do you mean by " I see only good things coming from giving you a chocolate"?
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