Cheers Here gradually became somewhere that I'm murmuring on.... Found that I always jumped in here after I got something through and recorded the disorganised memories into documentary, which revealed how much comfortability I see here as my outlet and....home. Started to pick here up before I officially became a Chinese resident and then incredibly I'm still over here and amazed at my dreams in being in China. Then I turned 29 and on counting down to my 30 in several months. Honestly I have never felt so anxious ever since I stepped into this age. When the first number of your age is going to become bigger, it usually brings up the issues of wrapping up the past 10 years. What you did and what you didn't do yet. With a bit of regrets, we cannot be back in time so we just keep walking ahead. Soon after the anxieties would be gone after you really turn into the next level of age. How many goals I'm still in the middle of dreaming of with 0% progress yet. How many cravings I'm still working on them but still haven't made them happen because of just no lucks yet. How many in the middle and make myself feel the right ways. How many new aspirations that are going to make me stronger and feel braver whenever I just think them about. I do neither just shrug at where I am at nor just follow the given flows. I'd rather move myself up to the level I crave. Cheers cheers cheers. :)

[Throwback] My day of 2017 When I was little, I was always thinking of what would a world of grown-up look like. Sometimes, imagining about that while eyes closed. Sometimes, mimicking the way those so called adults acting. It always felt like a far away thing that I barely touched out within. But now, 23.5 hours after 28 turned. 30 mins away from the end of bday. All the things seem like getting more than half as far as I realise. Not completely sure but able to see through what is over there from a distance. 28 is exactly the age that I set up as the timeline of maturity career that should reach advanced level at. Couldn’t just respond “no idea" when facing an unknown challenge. Carry out things based on more planning. Try to look at things from multiple views. Keep on a thing once started. Be around with people whom may probably ever dream of being as a bit or more. Use time more wisely. Be decisive. Be loving. Stay healthy. Live life without regrets. :)

Going Closer to Your Heart by Going Somewhere Far just received a best compliment i have ever had from a friend. her magical words have been also obsessed with my mind for few days. below is what was happening: (we had conversation on line messager at a night) i told her i felt bored and felt like nothing to do for the unexpected free period i had before going back to china. i asked her, what the image of mine is from her view? she replied, a girl always does what she really likes to do with huge brave, yet sometimes might have concerns like a little girl but those concerns seem like just saying and wiping out soon from mind. generally you stick to your goal all the time after making a decision. Over the past half year after moving to shanghai, things were not going that well....such as kept changing my job, broke up, got ill for a few times, etc. everything seems like dissuading me staying in shanghai from time to time. what i encountered was a mess, especially i should live in this expensive city without stable revenue as well as someone i could really reply on. i felt so stressful, one of the lucky thing may be i have a few of friends. but they can just give me mental support and that's all. i still should work everything out on my own. so my friend's comment on me matters to me, which recognises me that you are living in a cool way for your life. even though it's quite risky, but at least you are in pursuit of what you like. it's kind of a transitional period i believe. keep my faith! :)

Hit Me Throwback Again (II) However, if talked of unforgettable memories further, may be the afternoon under that hot weather, we finished the course of that day earlier than normal and went to a cafe shop to hold a small irregular underground meeting to complain about the same girl we felt annoyed; may be the tears that we could't help but still having during the after-school time because of extolling the young friendship in the track field where is coated with warm-coloured lights evenly from sunset; may be those crazy women yelled with my name standing in the opposite of the building and rolling down the banner with wording of happy birthday written out of the window and sining the birthday song ignoring students from the other classes sourrunded during the just 10 minutes of short break between classes. No matter when after today, never forget we just took one or two or so hours to catch up over the past 6, 7 years of our absence in mutual lives through an extremely efficient conversation with alcohols making it even more fun; never forget we asked for having fun together by an old British dude at a Wuxi's bar; trying so hard to get rid of the Germany guy who deployed series flirting attack toward us in the hotel lobby; got really drunk at the midnight and stirred ourselves in the bed of the hotel room and rushed to the railway station to catch the earliest train to go to work in the morning; watched down whole view of Jinji lake from 27th floor height of the hotel; had either a cup of coffee or a glass of red wine and afterward looked around for any good place to retain your ability of English and have a nice oil massage from toe to hair, the figures of you and me showed up at every corner of streets in Shanghai. Thanks for the most clever female friend I have, Michelle Shih, being always around me and never left me alone, please be always as happy as the image of you I know since forever. Soooooooooooo much love for you and never get to be over ever.

Hit Me Throwback Again (I) One of the beloved friend is going to get married in the end of this year. As long as I received the wedding invitation on Facebook, I might possibly stay in mainland at that moment, I'm not even sure if I could really go join that event and then I accepted "Going" at the next second, because, it would be the very first time that I will be attending the life milestone of a really close friend. Contrast to the naive life during primary school as well as the rebel of junior high, senior high school life, during which dressing white tops and black skirt all the time, seems to live to the fullest as far as I have been living. Every morning trying so hard to sit at my place in the classroom by the end of the morning school ring at 7:40am, ,up until the noon, dashing to school cafeteria to grab food that offers of that day for lunch, in the evening, after school ring heading us up the time to leave, dashing again toward the bus station to be on the way to home at sunset. When it comes to the rest of the time what I did, er.....just trying hard to get endless knowledge stuffed into my small brain (may occur on a general top school student life, that's the damning routine portrait), we had been so busy with such a tight schedule at high speed pace, and, behaving with so being nothing to be afraid of. We were in the same boat and just got on with each other but nothing else. From time to time, school gathered us together in the small hall and randomly picked up any of us to stand in front of all students of the grade to speak out the specific paragraph of the textbook without reading that we were always praying for being avoided; for performance of sports meeting, we couldn't breath smoothly and repeat every movement of the hot-blooded dance in a funny way, plus, we even had to continue the next class of geography after just getting out of the school swimming pool without any break between.

Live and learn by eye-travelling. Finally, I went to beijing, which is a city I'd been dreaming of visiting as soon as I' ve begun to live in China. As I had pictured before, full of historical stuff, undoubtedly the symbol of China. Every corner seem to have its own story. No much westernised influence. Also, generally the environment is cleaner beyond expected, the residents are obedient the public rules as well. For me, it's like advanced version of Nanjing, similar occurence that either of them have been capital of China. But Beijing is more developed as the current one. Even though most of the things are within expectation. The most impressed experience must be the night I was way heading hotel on an overpass road and the picture with particles of air pollution sparked with lights from light stands beside two sides aling the way. Kind of like nothern lights of Chinese version. How amazing! Came from negatively manual reasons but it's literally rare happening. Wish I could explore more within China then share from my point of view!

Things are :) ! [Transplanted the improvised post I published from wechat moment on date of 2015/9/7] Another 2 days away for my anniversary of coming live in mainland. Still sleep in every morning. Still spend too less time on paying attention to international news but too much on finishing reading a book. Still get too addicted to music and delicacy-hunting. Still do a language exchange. Map got dropped with a bunch of pins which recorded where I've been to. Body fat got decreased. Accent got slightly changed. Luggage packed lighter and lighter for travel. Crossed off each item on my to-do list that I made before moving. Discovered myself isn't as that material as I used to know. Never take everything that seriously as before anymore. Realise how stepping outside a comfort zone feels like as well as how it also feels like if creating yourself another new one. There's still a long way to go and learn. Enjoy. Happy anniversary in advance. :)

ain't what they used to be. Mental condition has accidentally reached a stage of peace by now as my goals on aspects in China fulfilled case by case. Impulse on getting out of here became a past thing that fading away with my somehow anxieties. When I took a look back on the one-year-ago me physically as well as psychologically, they seem like two separate individuals already. Diverse experiences here in China, either whatever kinds of people I have met or behaviours that I must have not done in Taiwan, all of which bringing me to have an even more open-minded attitude toward things that I might feel hard to face before. I feel like my views on things that previously just taking them too much serious turned out to be so easy. I also think I can gradually judge things outside the prejudices that cultivated before coming to China. But actually for now, there's still something waiting for being validated if I've really taken it as nothing in 2 weeks. Let's see it out!

The mental butterfly and the theoretic one. Anniversary for using italki.com for one year. :) An unexpected accident affecting my whole life, as if the butterfly effect just happened to me. Within the seconds of the flying process, I was not only flying physically in the air, but also, flying into here me in China. As well as bringing me here composing this entry, connecting me with those people who were not supposed to appear in my life originally. Life is magic. As for now, I really appreciate how all things came to me due to the tragically-looked event. Providing me a really big chance to move to such a place where is full of fresh experiences. Like surprisely being sped up to make a stride in making a big decision. And that also leaves the-now-me worrying about how to make more friends during this period. In the ninth month, keeping hanging around within this country with straightforward-minded. Oh. Now, I even seems to suffer the symptom of emotional depression, which resulted from the feelings of comparison with the peak period of happiness a couple of weeks ago. I'm still struggling to get used to it and face toward the present. Wish I could get full recovery from it very soon.