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A good one and simple memory! One day I found an old album of photographs from my cavalry days, and dispite the many years that passed, a particular picture brought me many memories. I was leaning against a big rock, loaded with equipment and looking exhausted, after all, had spent four nights badly asleep. It was the last day of field training and I had just finished a rappelling down the waterfall a few minutes before nightfall. I posed for the photograph at issue and left forthwith to meet my companions. We were late and were overtaken by the complete darkness. We lost the trail that led to the camp and we walked aimlessly in a dense woods until we were rescued. As punishment, they took out our dinner and some precious hours of rest. Immediately, they ordered us to follow for a long march at dawn inside. Even as I walked, when I would close my eyes for a few seconds, I still dreamed and woke up in the trembling of my legs. But, we still had to crawl through an open field, in a furtive progression, to a hovel trimmed and watched in the middle of nowhere. Near sunrise, we recline down on a slope to watch a detonation. In the blink of an eye, a huge cloud of dust rose, even before the noise of the explosion reached our ears. Then, the trucks picked us up and took us to a quick breakfast, for we would still have to march until the regiment where our folks and friends were waiting for us. It was a surprise party celebrating the end of yet another achievement in our lives. It’s a simple memory, but it means a lot to me.
2019年4月18日
18
1
As Lembranças e O Tempo. Quando eu era mais novo, costumava traçar uma linha temporal de minha vida, tentando recordar o máximo de lembranças que conseguisse resgatar, desde a mais remota de todas elas até a mais recente. Ainda assim, as perdi em sua maioria, como se por alguém apagadas, tal qual aconteceu a Joel em “Brilho Eterno de Uma Mente Sem Lembranças”. De qualquer forma, tudo o que restou esmaeceu ou se desmanchou ao longo do tempo. É estranho pensar que anos inteiros de minha vida, como 1989, por exemplo, já desapareceram por completo e sequer tenho fotos desta época em particular. Restaram apenas a real sensação de tê-los vivido e seus frutos, ou seja, a construção de meu ser. Quanto mais distantes as lembranças, mais tenho a impressão de vê-las pela perspectiva de uma janela de vidro em tempos de chuva; nada além de borrões e formas distorcidas; uma pintura em aquarela de situações memoráveis ou mesmo perniciosas. Foi então que decidi registrar os principais eventos de meu mundinho fenomênico em um diário, aproveitando o ensejo de estudar uma nova língua para redigir tudo em inglês. O mais engraçado é que, ao reler o meu despretensioso monólogo, finalmente entendi uma frase dita com muita frequência, em diferentes versões, a qual não sei ao certo quem falou primeiro: “aprender uma nova língua é adquirir uma nova alma”. Tudo o que havia escrito parecia ter sido obra de outra pessoa. Não reconheci a mim mesmo nos meus próprios textos, ainda que fossem minhas aquelas lembranças. Aliás, não faço ideia de qual das duas perspectivas prevalecerá. A despeito disso, se não as revisitar no futuro, é bem provável que caiam no meu esquecimento. Tenho pensado sobre isso de maneira constante, sem chegar a uma conclusão definitiva, muito embora acredite que, quando as recordações se forem ou esmaecerem, ao menos poderei me valer das mesmas palavras ditas pela raposa ao pequeno príncipe, aqui por mim parafraseadas: antes, os campos de trigo não me lembravam coisa alguma, mas agora, fazem-me amar o barulho do vento farfalhando os ramos; e algo me diz que provavelmente seja esta a moral da história: se acaso as lembranças nos deixarem um dia, ao menos permanecerão as transformações em nosso ser delas advinda.
2018年2月24日
3
1
The Memories and The Time When I was younger, I used to trace a timeline of my life, trying to remember as many memories as I could rescue, from the most remote of them to the most recent. Even so, I still mostly lost them, as if by someone erased, such as happened with Joel in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”. In any case, everything that remains was faded or dismantled themself over time. It's strange to think that entire years of my life as 1989, for exemple, have already disappeared completely and I do not even have photos on this particular time. Just remains the real feeling of having lived them, and your proceeds, that is, the construction of my being. The more distant the memories, the more I have the impression of seeing them from the perspective of a glass window in times of rain; nothing but blurs and distorted shapes; a aquarelle painting of memorable or even pernicious situations. It was then that I decided to record the main events of my phenomenon small world in a diary, seizing the occasion of being study a new language to redact everything in English. The funniest thing is that when I was re-read my unpretentious monologue, I finally understood a phrase often spoken in different versions, which I do not know for sure who spoke first: "to learn a new language is to acquire a new soul." Everything I had written seemed to have been the work of another person. I did not recognize myself in my own texts, even though those were my memories. In fact, I have no idea which of the two perspectives will prevail. In spite of this, if I do not to revisit them in the future, they are likely will fall into my oblivion. I have been thinking about this constantly, without reaching a definite conclusion, even though I believe that when the memories go away or they fade, at least I can use the same words spoken by the fox to the little prince, here by me paraphrased: before, the wheat fields did not remind me of anything, but now, they make me love the noise of the wind rustling the branches; and something tells me that this is probably the moral of the story: if by chance the memories leave us one day, at least the transformations accrued of them will remain in our being.
2018年2月24日
3
0