nightmare :( I was with my little cute brother, told him about environment. when other people came around us, I stopped speaking then move to another place. and then my brother disappear. I didn't know where does he go. I can't remember, but it feels like I left him somewhere. ... I was sitting in a room with a big Python, that I put salt on its body until its body covered with salt and it couldn't move because of the salt. Then the salt disappear, *I don't know how. Weird things always happen in my dream* then the Python started to move. I was trying not to care about it, and ignore it when it suddenly became human and talked to me. .... Then I was with my cousin. We were standing on street. Then, someone came with a car, it was my aunt, my cousin's mom. *she passed away about 5 years ago* it was their car. my aunt looked really beautiful. Then my cousins came in to the car, followed by me. I was managed to go to a place that my brother maybe there. When we arrived, I felt de javu. It felt like I've visited that place before. I asked about my brother, but no one knew. :( it was weird dream. I'm afraid something bad will happen. I'm afraid it was an alarm to me that something bad will happen.

what should ... I'm feeling down. I'm so sick of wasting time, I don't have time for myself. always busy with things at university, at organization. that make me tired all the time. I need to learn, I need my time to spend alone for learning. What should I do? Sometimes, I think to stop but Mom will be sad if I'm drop out. What should I do?

I like chatting with people from aboard ^_^ Few days ago I met friends from Korea, we have chat using English. ... and now I meet new friend, he said he's from Korea too. I'm so happy to hear that, because I like Korea and want to go there someday ^_^ He speak English. And saying I'm sorry for several times because of he bad in English. But my English is bad too. And I'm still learning English. But that's no problem as long as we can understand what we want to say to each other, right? ^_^

strange lyric song -_- I found some lyric song that's contain the strange sentences -_- such -> "Si Deus me relinquit (If God has forsaken me), Ego deum relinquo (then I shall forsake God to)" All I know, God never forsake us, we as the human who always forsake him, but we don't realize. when God give us problem in life, that's not mean God hate us. when we feel alone all time, not because God forsaken us. I think that's just such an alarm for us to open up our eyes and see around us, they're so many people around and we still have God, so that I'm not alone... :) . . . Those are just the way to make us more stronger. :) ^^v

I scream I've just watched anime "Hyōka (氷菓)" , Hyouka means "Ice Cream" in English, it's actually a pun of "I scream" which has the same pronunciation to "I scream". the message of "I scream" was, became a strong person. Don't became a weak, if you're too weak, then you wouldn't be able even to scream when you fear.

What do you think? I'm 18-year-old girl, My friends and the other people on my neighborhood said that I'm uncommunicative person who don't like talking much. That's not true, actually I'm talking much and much more... but I do it in my brain. I'm just too lazy to speak what I'm thinking of with other person. I don't know why. This is strange, maybe. I enjoy when I talking to myself through my mind. And sometimes I ignore chatting with everyone around me. Not because I hate them or something, it's just because I don't know how to chitchat when I'm around them,

.Have you ever think like this? Why am I here? 100 years ago I was not exist. About 18 years ago I was born, and appeared on this beautiful world. Then someday I'll die. I'll disappear. I was appear then disappear O.o Before I appear, where was I? After I disappear, where would I be? Have you ever think like that before?

Time... Everything's going old by the time. How could that happen? Human will grow old by the time. :( I hate growing old. Just if someone could stop the time, growing old process would stop... Then everything would stop :o No activity -_- Then what would happen? I can't imagine... That's terrible.