This is my peference This is correction
Untitled 2
I wonder at times
When I lay down to sleep at night.
What she’s thinking of,
And who’s on her mind.
She had cut through my fences barriers.
She stole my heart And stolen my heart.
Shattered are my defences
And left me bleeding when as she did departed.
For a period of time
That felt like a never-ending eternity,
I paid for a ‘crime’
I never did commit.
By She renounceding her coveted company for me!
Now that she’s in my life again...
Although I’m forgiven,
Nothing’s the same!
And just being with her,
Tearings my heart with in pain.
Yet why at night
She claimeds my thoughts?
It’s just not right
That I’m losing what I’ve sought.
With Peace and strength
To heal my plight.
Only Love and friends to can bring back the light
Though no matter what I do,
She’ll always be a part
Of everything that's important
And dear to my heart.
This is why I lay
In this here and now
And Remembering the times we’d play’d.
The Memories... we once shared,
With hope,
She would remembers how she cared.
So sad. You need to learn how to punctuate your poem to give it a more expressive mood. May I suggest this as your title, "Did She Remember?"
This is my preference, This is correction This is my comment - Jeff
Deeper Than Forever "Deeper Than The Deepest" or "Longer than Eternity" or "Forever And A Day" (My choice).
Going home today
You looked me in the eye
Something stirred inside you Somethin within you stirred,
'Cause you told me said goodbye "to me" is redundant. Your 2nd line established the fact about you two.
We went our own ways
But we were far from apart
'Cause when our eyes meet together
There was a jolt at in our hearts
Vulnerable, your expression tells me.
With shock and confusion
I think mine matched yours equally. for rhythmic purposes. Poetry are meant to be recited...
As the air sparked with tension
The goodbye broke the moment
But the memory was ours
To remember and in torment
Our hearts, over one for each other
Though we’d separated
Our minds were are melded
Our thoughts were of for the other
Lingering and but growing darker
Our rest that night was peace less That night we found no peace,
Our memory made our mind careless Our memory to be made our minds careless and ill at ease.
'Cause what we dreamt may dream
We came will come to detest
For each other, we left sleepless For each other, no sleep we may find
Even in the bedlam of dreams
We could cannot renounce our power We cannot shed our feelings
Over Forthe other
We were are bound together
By ties that ran run deeper than forever and a day
Thanks you for reading :DD
HATE
Love is an emotion
Of pain, of passion
A beautiful disaster
Just waiting to happen
It resides in your heart
Where emotions of fear and hate are part
The feeling never does depart
But shifts, transforms, changes
And hanging, it leaves your mind to chart
A new way in the middle if a start
From love to hate, hate to fear
Crazy feelings that can push you apart
Or draw you near
To a person, whom you came to care
Love turns to hate
When you’ve been broken away
From the one you loved
From the one you cared
Hate burns strong, like poison in your mind
It cuts away all emotion yet it helps you find
The power to move on,
To rebuild and be strong
But the scar it leaves
Will never fade, wane, it’ll never be gone
This should be known
To all those who’ve loved
The stronger you hate
Equals the strength of love
Your heart hath made
