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ESL DREAM ENGLISH

In this episode, I attempt to illustrate the sound and rhythm of Old Norse through a parody saga: The Saga of Ragnar the Cat and His Fish.
What begins as a royal Sunday scene soon turns into a tragicomic meditation on fish, fate, and feline philosophy. The noble Ragnar Kǫttr, fish-king of Frogner, sits deep in thought at his table, carving shavings from a dried cod while his anxious bird-servant reminds him that Monday is near. What follows is a ritual of guilt, wisdom, and the burning of fish bones — told in the stately cadence of an Icelandic saga.
Through this humorous retelling, I explore how Old Norse language, sounds, syntax, and storytelling traditions can be reimagined today — blending philology, parody, and pure absurdity.
1. Sá atburðr varð á einum sunnudegi, at Ragnarr Kǫttr, fiskkonungr af Frogneri, sat í hásæti sínu yfir borði.
2. Hann hafði svá djúpa hugsan um fisk ok speki, at hann gáði eigi stundanna.
3. Hann hafði kníf í hendi ok telgði flísar af þurrum þorski.
4. Kjøkenþjónninn, fugl lítill ok hræddr, stóð fyrir honum ok helt fiskfat.
5. Hann sá hvat konungr gerði ok skildi, at hann sjálfr hugði at ǫðru — líklega at fiskins eðli ok örlǫgum.
6. Þá mælti fuglinn lágt: “Mánadagr er á morgin, herra fiskhyggjumaðr!”
7. Ragnarr leit til hans, er hann heyrði þetta, ok mintisk þá hvat hann hafði gǫrt: hann hafði etit alla sunnudagslaxinn einn.
8. Síðan bað hann fœra sér kertisljós — eigi til iðrunnar, heldr til skemmtanar.
9. Hann sópaði saman fiskbeinum ǫllum í hǫnd sér, þeim er hann hafði gnat.
10. Þá brá hann þeim í logann ok lét brenna bein í lófa sér, sem helga fórn fisksins anda.
11. Þaðan mátti marka, at hann myndi fast halda sín lǫg ok boðorð,
12. ok vilja eigi yfir ganga þat, er hann vissi réttast — at engi fiskr skyldi deilask meir.


Everything Zenified 

Ragnar's Saga (An episode in the language of the Vikings – Old Norse) 

Let's figure out if lynx can lift a car...

Can a Lynx Lift a Car 

This is a reimagining of The Ugly Duckling by the great Danish author H.C. Andersen, set in a Norwegian context.

The Ugly Kitten

An incredible story about none other than Lou the Lynx, the feline rocker who's taken the world by storm. 

What If A Lynx was A Rock Star 

We delve into the intricate and often humorous interplay between these two neighboring cultures – Norway and Sweden. Much like Newton's laws of thermodynamics, the principles of conversation dynamics between Norwegians and Swedes can be observed and understood through a few key laws:

First Law: The Law of Politeness Conservation
In any conversation between a Norwegian and a Swede, politeness is neither created nor destroyed but merely transferred. Each party carefully navigates the exchange, ensuring that respect and civility remain balanced and intact.

Second Law: The Principle of Understatement Equilibrium
Understatements in Norwegian-Swedish dialogue tend to seek equilibrium. When one party downplays an event or achievement, the other instinctively matches this tone, creating a harmonious balance of modesty and humor.

Third Law: The Entropy of Misunderstandings
As the complexity of conversation increases, so does the potential for misunderstandings. These are often caused by the subtle nuances and cultural references unique to each nation. Yet, this entropy is often countered by the shared history and mutual respect between Norwegians and Swedes, leading to resolution and clarity.

Join us as we explore these dynamics and uncover the fascinating, and often understated, art of Norwegian-Swedish communication.

The Dynamics of Scandinavian Communication – Understatements 

A fascinating tale that I think many of you will find both surprising and inspiring. Imagine owning a stunning purple Lamborghini, the epitome of luxury and speed. Now, imagine trading that in for something far less extravagant—a simple city bike, Oslo city bike. What would drive someone to make such a drastic change? Let's hear that from Jason Morgan aka. No-crown...

From Purple Lamborghini to Oslo City Bike - A Journey of Transformation – Exclusive Interview with No-Crown


Have you ever wondered why your cat is so secretive? Do you sometimes feel like they know more than they let on? 


How to Figure Out if Your Cat is a Secret Agent 007

nside a dimly lit cave, a group of people sit huddled around glowing amphoras. These vessels are no ordinary pottery; they're meticulously painted with images of legendary wrestlers, engaged in eternal combat. The flickering light from a small fire casts these images onto the walls, animating the wrestlers in a primitive, captivating dance of shadows.



The cave's inhabitants watch these images, interpreting the epic battles as the ultimate expression of wrestling. They debate the techniques, celebrate the victories, and mourn the defeats, all from the moving images on the amphoras. To them, these representations are the entirety of wrestling—there is no world beyond the wrestlers on the pottery.


Nikostratos, ever the curious and skeptical cat, notices a sliver of light peeking through a crack in the cave wall. The murals and their tales don't satisfy his curiosity. One day, driven by a particularly pungent smell of the outside world—a mix of fresh earth and sweat—he finds a loose stone and wiggles his way through the crack.