Just another possible revision. It's not word-for-word, but hopefully it helps.^^

My hobbies...

I'm an outgoing girl. Making friends is one of my hobbies, but I have many others. Let me tell you about a few of them. Singing is my favorite. It's a really important part of my life, plus it's so much fun! When I'm sad, singing can make me happy. When I'm depressed, singing gives me the strength. All in all, it's what I love best.

When it comes to sports, there is no doubt that I would choose ping-pong above all others. But since I have to go to school and do my homework, I only get to play it once in a while. It is important and beneficial to excercize though, so I will make the effort to exercise more in my spare time.

I also like dancing even though i'm not good at it.

These are some of my hobbies, now tell me some of yours!

I love singing too and I agree about how it can make you happy and give you strength!

my hobby

I'm an outgoing girl and I like making/to make friends. Now I want to talk about my hobbies.

My hobbies are is widespread, but singing is my best greatest love. It is a big part of my life! It brings me a lot of fun. When i'm sad, singing can make me happy; when i'm depressed, singing gives me the strength. All in all, i love it so much.

When it comes to sports, there is no doubt that i will chose ping-pong, but i don't have enough time to play ping-pong, because i have to go to school and do my homework, so i only play it once in a while. but i approve of agree with the point view that exercising is important and beneficial, so i will do more exercise in my spare time.

In addition,i like dancing even though i'm not good at it. it's my hobby These are my hobbies, how about you?

<em>All clearly understood, thank you.</em>

<em>Punctuation - space after comma, fullstop, semi-colon... Capital letter to start a sentence; 'I' is also a capital letter.</em>

My Hobby

I'm an outgoing girl. I like to make friends. Now I want to talk about my hobbies. My hobbies is are widespread, but singing is my best love. It is a part of my life! It brings me a lot of fun. When I'm sad, singing can make me happy; when I'm depressed, singing gives me the strength. All in all, I love it so much. When it comes to sports, there is no doubt that I will choose ping-pong. But I don't have enough time to play ping-pong_because I have to go to school and do my homework, so I play it once in a while. But I approve of the point that exercising is important and beneficial, so I will do more exerise in my spare time. In addition, I like dancing even though I'm not good at it.
It's These are my hobbies, how about you?

Don't forget the rules of punctuation spacing and capitalization. Because you write about more than one hobby, you should use the plural forms.