Friday

Today is sunny, but I still have to go to work and work hard at my study, so I cannot go out and enjoy the spring sun :( :(. Sometimes I really feel a big lot of stress weighing down on me, because I don't want my elder big brother to be disappointed in me, I want to be a postgraduate in the future, <em>(put the time phrase closer to the verb 'want')</em> like my elder big brother in the future. I believe I can achieve my dream - so now, I want to learn good English/English well, and I need your help.

Punctuation:  a space after comma, full-stop, ...

Friday

 Today is sunny. I go to work, and I study hard. Sometimes I feel stressed, because I don't want to disappoint my older brother. My goal is to become a postgraduate like my older brother. I believe I can achieve my dream now. I want to learn english, but I need your help.