Both are correct. 1) is more American English, 2) is more British English. Also, "Why didn't you call me?" implies that the time when I was expecting a call has passed, and "Why haven't you called me?" means I am still expecting the call at the time of saying this. Hope this helps!

The first one is more accurate because number one expresses the expectation that you were due a call and didn't get one, especially when combined with the statement 'I asked you about it in the message', and number two, would imply that you haven't heard from somebody in a long time and you wonder why, and in which case we would not add the statement 'I have asked you about it in the message' we might say instead 'Why haven't you called me? I sent you a message about it?' I hope that helps?

2) is the best, more elegant and more correct response, because the present perfect is used in cases that are unresolved, as in "Why haven't you called me yet". However, in the US, many people use 1) (even English teachers). It has become acceptable.

1st one