ggshou2525
I went to Yokohama Landmark Tower to join a talk event with working professionals. It was interesting, but I wished I had more time to talk with them. After that, I visited Yokohama Chinatown and interviewed members of the overseas Chinese community. Why? Because I needed to gather information for my graduation thesis. Everyone was so kind to me — they really made my day. Thanks a lot!
17 jun. 2025 14:22
Correcties · 1
I went to Yokohama Landmark Tower to attend a talk event with working professionals. It was interesting, but I wish I had had more time to speak with them. Afterwards, I visited Yokohama Chinatown and interviewed members of the overseas Chinese community. Why? Because I needed to collect information for my graduation thesis. Everyone was incredibly kind to me — they truly made my day. Many thanks!
Alternative Version - - - - - - I visited Yokohama Landmark Tower to attend a panel discussion with professionals from various industries. It was engaging, though I would have liked more time to speak with them. Later, I went to Yokohama Chinatown, where I interviewed members of the overseas Chinese community as part of my graduation thesis research. Everyone I spoke to was exceptionally kind — it really made my day. I’m very grateful. - - - - - - Tips and Explanations: - - - 1. “Join a talk event” → “Attend a talk event” • “Join” is common in online settings or informal contexts, but “attend” is more appropriate for formal or scheduled events. - - - • “Talk event” is understandable but not idiomatic; better alternatives are “panel discussion,” “seminar,” or “talk.” - - - 2. “I wished I had more time” → “I wish I had had more time” - • You’re referring to a past regret, so the correct form is the past perfect: “I wish I had had more time.” - - - 3. “Talk with them” → “Speak with them” - • “Speak with” sounds more natural in a semi-formal context. “Talk to” or “talk with” can be more casual. - - - 4. “After that” → “Afterwards” - • Both are correct, but “afterwards” flows better in written English and feels slightly more polished. - - - 5. “Needed to gather information” → “Needed to collect information” - • Both are valid, but “collect” is slightly more academic and commonly used in the context of research or data. - - 6. “Thanks a lot!” → “Many thanks!” or “I’m very grateful.” - • “Thanks a lot!” is fine in casual speech but can sound abrupt in writing. “Many thanks” or “I’m very grateful” is more polished. 7. Tone Improvements - • Changing “It was interesting” to “It was engaging” (in the alternative version) avoids vague language. “Interesting” is often overused; try to be more specific or descriptive when possible. - - -
18 jun. 2025 14:35
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