I know it becomes more and more neuter but still there are girls mad at others calling them "dude"

Both cases certainly happen here (Northeastern US). They're probably more common as an exclamation or a reaction to something in surprise ("Dude!" or "Dude!! Why did you do that?!"), rather than a casual, neutral question ("Are you going to the movie, dude?"). The last example would usually be between two men, but a girl could also say it to a guy. I haven't heard that example between two girls or in the case of a guy speaking to a girl--that would sound awkward. Similarly, "guys" is used between men, women, and men and women indiscriminately. "Dude" isn't quite indiscriminate yet, but it probably will be some day.

dude = guy