小米xiao mi
My primary school I studyed Chinese, Maths,Art,Music,Writing and PE. Like most of kids, PE was my favourtie subject at that time. I still remember my PE teacher now. He was a patient person. He liked to encourage kids to do sports outside.
11 apr. 2014 01:11
Correcties · 2

My primary school

I studyed Chinese, Maths,Art,Music,Writing and PE. Like most of kids, PE was my favourtie subject at that time. I still remember my PE teacher now. He was a patient person. He liked to encourage kids to do sports outside.

Please also remember to leave a space after the use of a comma.

23 april 2014

My primary school

I studyed studied Chinese, Maths,Art,Music,Writing and PE. Like most of kids, PE was my favourtie subject at that time. I still remember my PE teacher now. He was a patient person1*. He liked to encourage kids to do sports outside2*.

 

1* you could say "He was patient".

2* 'Outside' is fine but I would mabye have said 'outdoors'

 

Reads nicely with a good use of natural vocabulary.

 

23 april 2014
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